Changing Your Attitude To Imposter Syndrome
When you look at things differently the things you look at are different, I love that saying. So if we change the way we look at Imposter syndrome, change our attitude, Imposter syndrome changes too if not disappears.
And we all suffer from Imposter Syndrome in one form or another, in different contexts, and no one escapes from it – from the rich, the famous to little old you and me.
A little warning there is 4 or 5 sort of swear words near the end of the episode but they do make sense
So what is it?: Imposter syndrome, a psychological phenomenon, corrodes self-esteem, creating a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud despite achievements. Individuals afflicted often doubt their abilities, attributing success to luck or circumstance rather than competence, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. This pervasive insecurity hampers professional growth, impeding career advancement and stifling creativity. Relationships suffer as affected individuals struggle to accept praise or connect authentically. Whoa!!!!
So by changing our attitude to all of the above would be a good thing – Right? And if we keep your unconscious mind’s positive intention to keep you safe, as well as seeing and feeling differently, that is being competent and confident we should be onto a winner.
Come with me and lets find out how.
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Shine brightly
Paul
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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism
This podcast is all about changing your attitude to imposter syndrome
Hey, your heads up to this? Well, it’s a longer podcast. It’s all about changing your attitude to imposter syndrome. So you have the right attitude, the right attitude to go wherever you want, to learn and ask questions from anybody you want, so you can grow, strive to be the best version of yourself, because it really is possible. It really is. And m. It’s so doable, and it’s so simple.
Hey, we’re back with the longer podcast, and, there is a warning. I am gonna swear, and there’s gonna be maybe two swear words ish. And they’re at the end. I think they’re all gonna be at the end, the two of them, so don’t worry about that. But it’s all about changing the attitude on imposter syndrome. And a long time ago, way back in March, 2020, hash 165, I, released an episode when I was listening to this lovely lady, so sweet. She is a lovely lady, on how she. She, addressed getting into state. I will have a listen to that because I want to use it and go one step further. But I want to explain all of that near the end. If you’re like me, I think, well, I know I have impostor syndrome. Not everywhere. Not everywhere at all. Just occasionally, I think they’ll find me out, what am I doing here? I’m, not good enough, all that stuff. I think we all have some kind of impostor syndrome somewhere, and I think we all know what it looks like, you know, we see other people, don’t we? And we go, oh, I think they know what they’re talking about. They’re so far ahead of me. And we listen to them speak and we go, ah, they. They’re even speaking in a way that I know they’re so much better than me, and they’re going to find me out. And I get that feeling. I can even smell and taste like being a failure or being caught out. Have you had that? It’s a lot of our b’s, really, isn’t it? It is, but it doesn’t feel that way, does it? It really doesn’t feel that way at the time. And you see, everyone feels this way, and I think they do. We hear about it from the very famous people in the world who you would think they’re up there in front of loads of people. Loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of people, they’re on telly, they’re on the screen, they’re on the stage, and they get it all the way from them to little old you, little old me. And the thing is, it’s in all different contexts, isn’t it? All over the bloody place. And you hear those stories of those people that we go, surely not, surely not. You can’t suffer that because you are one of the greats. But they do. And, why? Where is it? It’s all in the bloody mind, isn’t it? And if you’re a little bit of an introvert as well, like me. Bloody hell, that comes in, in bucketful sometimes. Sometimes that fear, unconfidence, if that’s a word. But where is that fear? Where is that unconfidence? Yeah, it’s in our minds, isn’t it? That’s the only place it exists in our minds. So let’s start at the beginning. The very beginning. Good place to start. Cloughy. Yeah. No, why would we get imposter syndrome or feel like a imposter, get that fear, the anxiety, the stress, the loss of confidence. Why would we get that, do you think? Let’s have a think about that. Just for a moment. I’m gonna pause. Well, not really pause that much, but I just want you to think for a moment. Because you know as well as I do that every behavior has a positive intention. It does. It’s your unconscious mind looking to try to do something for you in a positive way.
Overconfidence can give you anxiety and fear, Emotions expert says
Now, what could that be giving you fear, giving you anxiety, a lot of confidence that, we’re going to call impostor syndrome. Call it anything you like, really. But that’s what we’re talking about, isn’t it? So let’s muse about this for a moment, shall we? You see, I think one thing could be to make sure that you know your stuff. You see, if I’m your best friend, your unconscious mind, and I give you fear, anxiety, maybe those pictures in your mind of you just being caught out, feeling a dope, feeling, not belonging, you will swat up, you will learn your stuff, you will really get it. And because you then will not have that overconfidence, because you’ll be competent. Because if you’re overconfidence, you’ll get caught out, won’t you? And you know that it’s a bluff. And you’ll try to bluff other people, but you can’t bluff yourself. And you won’t bluff, bluff other people honestly, it’s trying to make you competent also, I guess, to think of what could go wrong. That’s one thing, isn’t it? That’s another one. If I give you a picture in your mind of what could go wrong, like not to look foolish, you could do something to mitigate it. So you know what could go wrong. And, therefore I’m gonna learn or do the stuff that I know that will really mitigate that outcome. I won’t look foolish because I’ll have. I learnt my stuff, I’ll have done this, I’ll have done that. But the thing is, we get bloody overwhelmed, don’t we? Because there’s loads, loads more. They’re all positive, all trying to protect you in some way or other. But it’s overwhelm. It gets too much. You try to learn too much. You try to think of what could go wrong, and you go to the end of the world. That’s never going to happen. But it might. It might. You gotta. Just in case. Just in case, don’t look foolish, do we? But it’s just overwhelming when you get to, overwhelm things. Like you get that feeling, I’ll never know enough. Well, yeah, you won’t. You’ll never know enough. There’s always something else to learn, and therefore you won’t do it, because you’re one to keep learning and learning and learning forever until you know enough, and you won’t. What else might happen? Well, you might get into a freeze. The fear of what could go wrong, and therefore you don’t do anything. There’s no mitigation now because we’re just not going to do it. I’m not going to do it because it’s going to be so bad. There is no way to mitigate it. Well, it isn’t the way that you’ve thought about it, because it’s got so bad that, well, there’s nothing that can help you. Also, you start to remember things and remember things from the past when you felt foolish in front of other people. Or maybe you were caught out because you were over competent. Not over competent, overconfident. You tried to, you know, wing it, and, it didn’t work because you didn’t have the experience. And now you get that feeling, I don’t want to feel that again. So it’s all protecting you, isn’t it, from those feelings of rejection, those feelings of being inadequate. So thank you, my best friend. Thank you for trying to do your best. And I know that’s a hard thing to say because it is, isn’t it? Because all those feelings you get are negative, aren’t, they? And it’s very difficult to say to somebody, thanks for being so negative for me. But really we should be saying thank you for trying, trying to do the best for me. Thank you for trying to keep me safe. You’re my best friend and you’re doing your best. But the thing is, we can help. We can help our unconscious mind now, now we know it has a positive intention of trying to help us and it’s going in the room the wrong direction. All those behaviours, and that’s all they are. Emotions are behaviours, those visualizations are, just behaviours. Re remembering times and feelings just behaviours. Now we could say, let’s ask a better question. You might just say, well, what do I know? Because if we ask the right question, we’re going to solve those questions. So what do I know about this thing? And the thing is, because you’re here to learn, what you will find is every other bugger will be there to help you. Because if you’re in the right place, the right teacher comes along. And if you go to that particular place where these people who supposedly know more than you, and they probably don’t, well, they might know a little bit more about you, but they will remember what you felt like or what you feel like because they felt that way too. So what we’ve got to do is just notice what we do know, notice what we could learn, but most importantly, practice what you know, master what you know. Mastery, my definition of mastery. Doing what you know, knowing what you do. So what do I do? What do I know? Can I do it? Can I do it to the best of my ability? Let’s get that bit in the bucket or the pocket or whatever you want to do it. That is my foundation. This is what I know. And then you can say to those people, because you have the right attitude. Now, this is what I know, this is what I can do. This is what I’d like to learn. Can you help me? And I just know, metaphorically, they’re going to put their arms around you and help you. And if they don’t, they’re not the type of people you want to be around anyway because probably they don’t know either the good people, well, they’re just good people.
What are the times in your past that you can learn from
Now, maybe just before the next, well, before you do that. So you know what you know, you do what you know. Think about, what type of attitude that learning attitude you get. But then you go, hang on a minute, what is another question? What are the times in my past, my memories that I can learn from. So maybe it’s things that went wrong or I didn’t get the result. They weren’t failures, the results weren’t what I wanted. How can I learn from that? How could I, have done it better? How could I have done it differently? And then you think, well, let’s just visualize that. See it the way it was back then. Just see it from like a third position as if you were looking down onto that memory, looking at that, down into that memory of you down there, seeing what you did. And then go, hey, from up here, I think we could have done it a different way. What can I learn from that? And then imagine doing it that other way from this third, position, this meta view, looking down and like orchestrate it, like being a director of a movie, direct that you down there, the star of the movie, to do it differently and notice the results that they get. And then when they get the results that you want, you could float into them into that you down there and notice what it’s like. And it’s another way of learning. And then you come back to yourself and you go, well, what else can I learn? What other times? Maybe there’s times in the past where I felt this way and I did something different. What was that emotion then? You can ask yourself, well, what do I really want to have happen? Now I’ve got all of this stuff. How would I like it to be? And because I say, you’ve got this attitude now you can ask people, I don’t know that bit. Can you teach me? You don’t want help. You want teaching to. So here’s the thing. We’ve got all these things we could do, and you know this, and you can master it, and it doesn’t take long, and it will make one hell of a difference. But here’s the thing, we’re going to add to it, we’re going to spice it up. So you go back to this lady and here’s a swearing alert, warning, warning. She had this thing because people said, well, what do you do? What do you do to put yourself into the state to do what you want to do? And she spoke really nicely, really nicely. And what she said was, I have this attitude and it’s called motherfuckitude. And when I put that on, I’ll do it. I’ll, I’m in the right state of mind. I can access things and I’m gonna do it. I’m just gonna do it. It’s like all the other things we’ve talked about, I get to do this good. That’s all the elements of motherfucker dude. But I want to adapt it. I want to add, take one word off mother and add another word on, or two words, actually. So instead of, motherfucker dude, I said this quite a few times. Sorry if it’s upsetting people, but I’m sure it’s good. And change, you have a bit of that, and then you add to it. Well, what the fuck attude? Because I care, but I don’t care because I’m going to do this and I’m going to do it with the right attitude. I’m going to do it with the right level of competence. I’m coming here to learn. I’m coming here to change the way I am. I want to get better. And that’s why you’re here with personal development unplugged, isn’t it? We’re, breaking down all these horrible, complicated things into nice, simple things that we can use, and you can use it. Nothing I’ve said right now over the last few minutes, it’s difficult, complicated. It’s all very simple.
Paul Cluff uses hypnosis to help people remember positive attitudes
Now I want you to think of, and now you may not use those words, but can you maybe recall a time when you had that first attitude, motherfucker tude something similar where you just got up and said, this is mine, I’m going to get this done. I’m okay. I’m going to do it. I get to do this. And recall that memory for the moment it was okay. Now you can do it. Eyes open. It’s good to do eyes closed because there’s less distractions. You can always come back to this, but if you’ve got a moment and it’s safe to do so, obviously you’re not driving. Stuff like that. I’m going to slow down now. Just recall that moment, that memory of the past when you had that attitude that you were going to get this done. Doesn’t matter. You were just going to get it done. And as you think of that memory, bring it to mind, see yourself over there, and then just flow into that body, your body in that memory. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel that feeling of determination, of competence, of wanting to learn, wanting to let to get things done, knowing you can and you will. And when you do that, squeeze a finger and a thumb together and give it a word you can use. The word. I’ve used that lady’s word. Say it out loud or say it loudly in your head with your internal voice, as you squeeze that finger and thumb together and let that feelings get more and more. Double that feeling. And as you double that feeling again, squeeze that finger and thumb together again, because we’re setting up an anchor that you can fire when you want this attitude again. And when you’ve done that, just let those two fingers go. Remember which finger and thumb it was. And then I want you to think of, well, when was there, a time that I really didn’t care what people thought about me? Because I’m just going to do it. We’ve all had that, too. But just let your unconscious mind come up with that memory where you were going to do stuff, and it was what the fuck had you. And as you recall that memory, go back there, see what you saw, hear what you heard, and as you see what you saw and hear what you heard, feel that feeling, double it. Feel it again. Spin it faster and faster and double it so it’s so intense. And as you do the same finger and thumb together, squeeze that, and say one word which really puts these two feelings together. And as you do that, we’re stacking the anchor. And when that feeling gets so strong and just begins to subside under your fingers, now, you could rewind this a little bit and do those two again as many times as you like. Always stacking on that same finger and thumb together with that word. You see, you’ve now got an anchor, because if you just let everything, you can open your eyes and things like that. But if you just think of something you want to do now, where in the past you would have thought about impostor syndrome, thought about not doing it, and press that finger and thumb together and notice how different you feel and go do it. And every time you think about it, squeeze that finger and thumb together and fire off that anchor with all those wonderful feelings of the past. But ask those questions first. So you’re really stacking the deck in your favor now. If it’s going to help, there is on my free hypnosis, I know there’s a thing about anchoring in there, so you could search that. So how do you get that? It’s paulcluffonline.com podcast. Sign up for it. Look for the hypnosis track on anchoring. But I might even do another one just with these two attitudes. So they become one, connected, integrated, and then you can use it to fire off that type of attitude when, you know, particularly for imposter syndrome. Now, wouldn’t that be great? Let me know. Let me know. You can email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug, um.com if that’s something you’d like to have, because I want to experiment more in deeper hypnosis.
Cluffy: I hope you enjoyed all of this. Give me some feedback. I hope it makes sense
So I think I’m leaning towards doing it anyway. But I’d love your feedback because I’m getting some great feedback lately. I mean, we’re going to talk about a couple of those as well. Not today, but on another episode to show you what can be done. If you ask. I hope you enjoyed all of this. Ah. And it made. I hope it makes sense. I hope I didn’t talk too fast, because I did get excited, didn’t I? So please let me know. Give me some feedback. Did I make sense? Is there something I could add to it? Something maybe I missed? Maybe there’s something you do a little bit differently. I’d love to hear same email address. So please do just think about this. It’s all a matter of doing. We can listen to this and you might even say, well, I know all of this. Well, if you know all of this, do you actually do it? That mastery thing again? I have that same problem. I know a lot of stuff don’t always do it. So I have to re remind myself, you got to do the stuff, Cluffy. You got to do the stuff. Stuff. Put time aside for it. There you go. Well, there you go. That was. I, rattled on, there didn’t. I hope it made sense. And I, hope you would love to share this with somebody so they can have the same attitude and get things done. Never worrying about the fear and anxiety that used to be. Used to be with that imposter syndrome because it’s gone. or it could be gone if you do the type of things, and there’ll be other things we can do as well. This really does work. So please enjoy. Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. And as always, press that subscribe button. It’s always nice to have does help and fly with competence. Okay, I’ll speak to you next time. Have, fun, my friend, and fly.
Paul Clough advises leaving personal development unplugged
Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Win.
Personal development unplugged.