From “I Can’t” to “I Won’t”: Reframing Your Mindset
Empower Yourself to Achieve What You Want
Ever found yourself saying, “I can’t do that”? This episode dives into the power of reframing that statement to “I won’t,” and how this simple shift can empower you to take control and achieve your goals. Discover how to break free from limiting beliefs and self-doubt, and learn to embrace new challenges with confidence.
We’ll explore:
- Why saying “I can’t” can limit your opportunities and how others perceive you.
- The origins of limiting beliefs and how to question their validity.
- The empowering effect of choosing to say “I won’t” instead of “I can’t.”
You’ll learn:
- How to take responsibility for your actions and decisions.
- Practical steps to reframe negative thoughts and emotions.
- How to build confidence by acknowledging your fears and taking small steps towards your goals.
By the end of this episode, you’ll have a new perspective on how to tackle challenges and turn your “can’ts” into “wills.” Ready to transform your mindset?
Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/412-never-let-cant-stop-you/
Shine brightly
Paul
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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism
It’s all about saying I can’t do things and changing it
Hey, your heads up to this longer podcast. It’s all about saying I can’t do things and changing it, reframing in a way that you will, and then getting that buzz, becoming powered to be able to do the things you want to do. But you’ve had the excuse and said I can’t, but now you can. Please have a listen because it makes so much difference to your life. Okay? Enjoy
. Hey, welcome to the longer podcast. And it’s amazing, isn’t it? It’s amazing where you can learn stuff. Stuff. Just stuff. Learning stuff. Because I learned something from a place where you would not expect it. I was in the gym, you see, and you know, I love going to the gym. I don’t always love, well, I love leaving the gym. That’s what I love most of all. Because leaving the gym means you’ve done your work and it feels good. But the thing is, I love to listen to podcasts. That’s where I listen to most of my podcasts. I’m in the gym. I’m on the walking machine. I don’t call it a running machine because I don’t run on it. Walk uphill, do my bit, my vo two s or whatever it’s called. I don’t know. And I was listening, and it’s amazing what you can find. Amazing what you can find when you, you’re not expecting it. And that’s what I love about it. You see, there was I listening to, well, a weird thing outside my comfort zone. It was a spiritual podcast. And, there I was, walking away, panting, as it were. And what happened was this lovely lady, a lovely lady called Eileen Foster. She said, we often say, oh, I can’t do that. Now, we often say that to ourselves, don’t we? Do you? I know I do. I can’t do that. no, no, no, I can’t do that. Yeah. And sometimes, you see, you say it out loud, you say it out loud to others, and that’s even worse. Why is that worse? Well, they, you might believe that you can’t, but it’s belief. But if you say outside, with your outside voice, your external voice, your auditory, out there, just like me now, and you say it to somebody else, they’ve got nothing else to other than, believe you. And if they believe you can’t do something because you say, oh, I can’t do that, guess what, guess what? They’ll never bloody ask you again. That’s it. That opportunity is gone. Wow. You see, why? Why would you do that? But we do, don’t we? And it’s probably, probably something that you might even like to do. That’s the thing, isn’t it? Because it’s out there. Oh, I’d love to do that. I’d love to. Oh, but I can’t. I really want to do, No, I can’t. You got all those bloody can’ts. And the thing is, ask yourself this question. Ask yourself this question. Where the bloody hell did that belief come from? Where, where did it come from now? I don’t know. Think about it now. Think of something in the past where you said, no, I can’t do that. And you never have. But you really want to. But m, you know, you’ve said, I can’t do that. Whether you’ve said it inside, whether you’ve said it outside, whether you said it to yourself outside. You know, I speak to myself like that all the time. People think I’m a bit of a loon that way, but I do. I talk out loud to myself, where do they come from? Because the thing about it is, there’s no bloody facts, is there? No facts. Because there might be some limiting beliefs in there. Because you think, you know, I’m not good enough. Where did that voice come from? I’m not good enough or I’m stupid, or, you know that one going back to the dark ages where people say I’m not worthy. When do people say that, really, I’m not worthy? Other than when they go to the therapist? I don’t know. They do. They do. They say that I’m not worthy. And when I’m, working with clients, I actually laugh. Do people talk like that? But, yeah, it’s a belief. No facts. No facts whatsoever to those beliefs. Because you haven’t done it yet and you get that yet. That’s what you need to be in the yet.
There are things that you say you can’t do and you actually do them
I think there’s also those bloody emotions that go around, isn’t there? What are they? Cloughie. Well, you’ve got things like scared. Fear. I’m scared now. what am I scared of? Well, it could be scared of failing. It could be scared of making the right ass of yourself in front of people. I, laugh now. I laugh now. But there’s things that I’m still saying I can’t do and I’m scared of doing it. Making a fool of myself, maybe feeling a failure, proving to myself I’m a bloody failure over and over again, doing thing. Oh, I’m not going to do it anymore. Because my unconscious, mind says, I’m going to protect you, Cloughie. And it probably say, if your name was Cloughie, it would say the same to you, but it’ll say in your own right, I’m going to protect you from that feeling of. Feeling of failure, that feeling of feeling stupid, embarrassed. So I’m going to scare you a little bit, give you that anxiety, give you that bit of stress, then you won’t bloody do it. And with that limiting belief of, you know, you’re not good enough anyway, stupid, hey, you never do it. And, you know, the weird thing is sometimes those things that you say you can’t do are, the things, first of all, you want to do. But you’ve never done them before, have you? Never done them before. So you don’t even know. You do not even know whether you can do it, because you haven’t done that step, done that one thing. So here’s the thing. Good old Eileen. And this is where it blew my mind, because I was listening to this and going, yeah, it all makes sense. Well, in fact, I’ve padded a lot of that out because she did. She just said this thing about saying people. People say they can’t do that. And the bit about, you know, people believing, which is dead right, if you say it out loud and somebody hears it, they believe you and they don’t ask you. And I thought, that’s bloody awesome. That is a real effect of saying, I can’t do this out loud. But then she said, and it was a massive, massive reframe. I don’t know. She realized that, but she reframed it so well, because she said, instead of all that, I can’t just say, well, I won’t, I won’t do that. And, the thing is, you see, when you say, I won’t do that, in some ways it’s sort of empowering because you’ve taken. Taken ownership of it. And the thing is, and, what would be the good thing if I missed out on doing it, if I don’t do it? Because, you know, you say, I won’t do it. Now, isn’t that weird? When you say, you know, that thing that I, really want to do, I’d love to do it. I’d love to learn how to do it. I’d love to experience it. I’d love to be with those people. And whatever it is, maybe just in speaking up within your group, I’m a bloody introvert. Well, some of the time. And I sit back in my group, and sometimes I can’t contribute. Now, as soon as I say I won’t contribute, so why not? Why won’t you Cloughie? Why don’t you? Oh, because I’ve chosen not to. And if I’ve chosen not to, guess what? I can choose the other way, can’t I? I can choose the other way.
What would happen if you did do it successfully or enjoyed it
And, what, here’s one of the questions you come from. I learnt it in NLP and it’s, a meta question. They call it a meta question. And what it says is, well, what would happen if you didn’t? What would happen if you did do it? What would happen if you did it successfully? What would happen if you enjoyed it? Now, when you say those things, what would happen if you did do it? You have to think about it. Well, if I did do it, oh, maybe I’d feel this. What would have did it successfully? Presupposing now you’re gonna do it. Well, as opposed to, I’m a failure. I can’t do it. All that stuff. Oh, what if I could do it successfully that would make me so good and the opportunities that would come from that. Or I’d just be a better. I’d just feel better in myself. And what if I enjoyed it as well? Enjoyed the process. Well, if I enjoyed that type of thing, maybe I would do more of it. Maybe I. This would be the stepping stone to do other things. So if you say won’t instead of can’t, you’re really taking responsibility, aren’t you? You’re taking responsibility for your decisions. There’s no more excuses now because I, can’t do that. It’s just a bloody excuse, isn’t it? Because you don’t bloody know. For a start, you’ve again imagined all the feelings of failure, everything bloody negative around that. And what a wonderful way to look at life. I mean, I don’t know if you’ve got children. I have. I got three beautiful children. They’re my babies, but they’re big, big boys now. But what would happen if I gave them that type of instruction? Oh, you can’t do that. You can’t do that. No, you’d encourage them, wouldn’t you? You’d encourage them. And that’s what we want to do inside. Get our best friend now, our unconscious mind, to encourage us to say, well, I won’t do it now, but maybe I’m, going to do it, now I’m going to do it now. I am. I’m choosing because if you choose not to, by the way, if you choose not to do something, you’re taking responsibility too, by saying won’t. I am taking responsibility for my decisions to say, no, I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it. Simple as that. I’m nothing. I’m not doing it at all. But the thing is, now you can choose whether you do or whether you don’t. Before, when you said I can’t, you were, living on the effect side of life, thinking of all the negative crap. Everything that could go wrong might go wrong, the worst it could ever be. And, think about this. Let’s just go before we start to choose that we’re going to do these type of things. If it’s a new thing, you’re gonna bloody be crap at it anyway. Of course you are. We’re all gonna fall over when we start learning new skills. Unless you’re one of these bloody wonder kids who just happen to pick it up straight away. And if you do, great. But once you take that one step towards doing it, well, I’m going to do this. I’m going to learn how to do it. Because if you think about everything that you’re good at now, everything you’re good at now, when you first started it, you were crap at it. Probably. Probably not very good. Don’t like crap. But yeah, I do. That’s why I speak. But I haven’t sworn in this one. I’m pretty good now. Pretty good. But you weren’t very good. I know the things that I am reasonably good at now. When I first started, I was hopeless, but I had that little speck inside me, that little desire to get better, to learn. Which is why we’re here under personal development, self improvement, all that stuff, unplugged. Making things simple. So let’s break those things down that we’re trying to learn to, into simple things. And then we get better at them. Doing stuff, doing your stuff and getting better and better. And guess what? Doing the stuff that you’re going to be good at in the future. Learning. Because that’s what we’re all here for. To learn and enjoy creating new stuff. Become that creative. Let that creative part of you excel to thrive, to be so good and make a life. Make a life for yourself. M that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Paul Clough: Breaking down limiting beliefs is easy. It takes effort, by the way
Now we’re going to dive into this deeper. We will. We will dive into this deeper. Because I wanted to set that reframe of can’t to won’t. And then get you to take responsibility. But we’ll dive into those negative beliefs, those limiting beliefs, how we can change them, we’ll dive into those emotions, how we can let them go. And, notice how they’re protecting us, but they’re not working anymore, how it’s setting up those conflicts. We’re going to do that in longer podcasts, because that’s what personal development, unplugged is all about. Breaking down those, those negative things in our life, the things that are stopping us, holding us back. But to do it in a simple, easy way, it is easy. It takes effort, by the way, just because they’re easy takes effort. And then you can be able to apply them day by day and get better and better, and then it just boils down to, well, if I’ve never done it before, I’m going to start now. And doesn’t that apply to everything you’ve ever done? You never did it before and, now you are. And I’m going to support you in that. All the way, by the way. All the way. So do have a think. Maybe there’s some limiting beliefs that you’d like to get rid of? Send me an email. Personal development unplugged. No, it isn’t at all. Cloughie it is. Feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. send me that email. Tell me the type of limiting beliefs you like to get rid of. We’ll work on that. Maybe there’s some emotions that I haven’t mentioned or something new. We can work on that. We’ll get a longer podcast, we’ll have a process, maybe even a hypnosis track to go with it. Go and test me. Push me. Let me stretch myself to help you. To help me. That would be great if you did. And also if you haven’t subscribed, please press that subscribe button, please. That’d be good, because we’re gonna, you get though these podcasts all the time now, twice a week. And I know it would help. Not every podcast will, will resonate. There’ll be golden nuggets in everyone. But with that one, that really does resonate. Really does. You’re gonna, you’re gonna smack yourself for not listening, but you won’t, because you wouldn’t listen, but you will, you’ll get it. And then you let me know too. So please do that. Share this. Like hell if you could. I mean, I say like how, but if you can share it to one person and get them to subscribe, that would be awesome. Yeah, so there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your time. I so much. I really did appreciate it. I do appreciate it. There’s more to come. Have fun, my friend, because it’s time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.