#370 Creating The Real You


Creating The Real You

If we could do this in half an hour that would be magic and I am not a magician. Creating the real you is a work in progress and you wouldn’t be here if you thought otherwise.

This episode is inspired by reading ‘The Creative Act’ by Rick Ruben famously from a music background. As I read it (well I am not finished yet) I kept comparing his thoughts on creativity in music to that of personal development, and self-improvement.

The terms of finding our true voice and the privilege of being able to create just resonated with me and I hope I can resonate with you with my comparisons and a process or two.

I also look at what stops us in this creating of our true self, those limiting beliefs of “I’m not worth it” or ” I don’t belong here” and how we can change those and find more supporting beliefs and their associated emotions and behaviors.

Please join me by pressing play and I hope you enjoy  :O)

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Again – Thank you to Rick Ruben

Shine brightly


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The transcrition and a big WARNING to those who love the written word written properly – this isn’t it’s a direct transcript of the spoken word – you have been warned

#370 Creating The Real you Paul Clough discusses the creative act of personal development on Unplugged

Speaker A: Hey, your heads, up to this blue in longer podcast, creating the Real You. But it’s been inspired been inspired by a guy called Rick Rubin who wrote the book The Creative Act. And it inspired me to go through the creative act as being thing, the creative act of personal development, creating the real you, the ultimate vision of you, the you you want to be and aspire to be. And we’ll get there. So come with me and see what I compared. Let me share you what I found. Or share with you what I found. Okay. Have a listen after this. Hey, welcome. Welcome to the personal development. Unplugged. podcast. So pleased you’re here. Your time is valuable and precious. So what I would like to do is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, Neurolinguistic programming, all of that. Using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real, solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great. And, then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams, and get what you really want in life. Anyway. Who am I? I’m Paul. Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes because we’re going to have so much fun. That’s it. We’re going to have fun for a change because we can sit down for a spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation the only limitation is your imagination. And you got bucket loads, by the way. Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must. This is personal development. Unplugged with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius.

This episode is inspired inspired by a book called The Creative Act

Speaker A: Hey, friend, how you doing? And creating the real you. This episode is inspired inspired by a book I’m not through yet, but in the middle of reading. And it’s called The Creative Act, and it’s by a guy called Rick Rubin, rick Rubin from the music world. And it’s all about creativity. But the thing is, here’s something. These were my words, and I said, wow. And I said it. Our lives are, our creation events. Experiences don’t shape us. It’s how we act and react and learn from them. And that’s what creates us. You, me. And they were my words. And they were my words, which were inspired by reading bits and pieces or the bits and pieces that stuck with me from this book. Yes, it is about music, but it’s also about just creativity. And, I wanted to change this slightly. Everything I read you see, as I do these things, it seems whatever I read, listen, or just see, I tend to compare with my hour personal development with the term personal development. And in that personal development, I’m guessing in my mind, the aim of personal development for me is to create the ultimate me, the ultimate vision of me, whatever that is. I want to get there. And then I want another ultimate vision and another one after that just to keep can I grow to be my best? And that’s what I want for you. I want you to grow to be your best and then even better than that. And that’s why the things that, I’ve read in this book seem to just I don’t know, they came in parallel with this thing, this thing of the creative act. And, here’s a quote. Here’s a quote from the book. It’s the privilege. I say that again because I want to really be mucking up. Let’s do it again. It’s the privilege, the creative act. I’ve called it personal development, by the way. Creating us. We’re choosing it. We’re not being ordered to do it. And if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. And, that’s exactly what we say here and in NLP. Isn’t that being a cause, not the effect. We’re choosing choosing it choosing the creative act or choosing the creative act of creating the ultimate, the best version of ourselves. Being at cause, not the effect. And blaming everyone else and the weather, the people around you, the financial situation and everything else. No. Being at cause, taking responsibility, choosing choosing this creative act of being who you really are. Striving for it. But you see, sometimes sometimes, I guess we don’t want to do those things. But we don’t want to do the things that we really know. Know that we well, it would make our life better. But we still don’t do the bloody things, do we? And, why is that? If we know they’re good for us, why don’t we do them? Why do we then go on to that fex side and blame everything else? Well, I think there’s a little reason, maybe a big reason, but there is a reason that came to my mind. And you see, sometimes when we think about doing this creative act, stepping out of our call it comfort zone or familiar, I like to call it the familiar zone stepping out into something new which would really forge that new or the best version of us, we pull back because we get a negative emotion. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it was anxiety. Maybe it was that bloody impostor syndrome that people bang on about. We get the limiting belief, well, I’m not good enough. I don’t belong here. All that stuff. And it’s there to protect us, I guess. Well, I know it is. It’s your unconscious mind saying, I don’t want you to be like a failure. I want you to succeed, I want you to be safe. But the thing is, when we feel fear, anxiety, we have that limiting belief of, I’m not good enough, I don’t belong here. It doesn’t feel bloody safe, does it? It doesn’t feel safe at all, because it did back then, when you were little, give you a little bit of fear, a little bit of worry. You didn’t do things, you weren’t stupid, you just didn’t do silly things, not stupid things. And it saved you from those feelings, but it kept doing it more and more and more. And we know if we sat down quietly, intellectually, and that’s a word doesn’t normally come in my conversations, but intellectually, we know that some of these things are really good for us, some of them maybe a bit bonky, but they’re good, they’re going to forge this ultimate vision of ourselves into reality. So we get to choose, don’t we? There’s a big but there but against that anxiety, the fear, the limiting beliefs, but we do get to choose if we ask some right questions, because we got to choose wisely, haven’t we? You don’t do anything silly and harm yourself without not without thinking, then harm yourself. But you don’t do anything without thinking and mitigate any danger, any fears, any anxiety. Get it out the way, you’ll be safe then. So you first of all have to think, I guess, will this thing I want to do that I’m a little bit anxious about, I don’t feel like doing it, but will it make my life better if I do it? Will it make me a better version of myself, a better version of you? And you can just sit with that and go, well, actually, if I got that experience, yeah, and maybe I don’t quite know how to do it yet, and the word yet, but if I put that as a goal out there, work towards it, would that make my life better or worse? Would it make me a better version of me or not? Now, you have to be honest in those thoughts, not let the anxiety, the fear, the limiting belief get in the way. You push them to one side, you park them, because you’re not going to get eaten by a saber toothed tiger and all that stuff, which is where the old reptilian brain comes in to save you. Fight and flight, you’ve already got that. Fight and flight is hardwired in your neurology, so if something did happen, you’re safe. You would act and behave in a way to keep you safe. So park that for the moment and just look at the outcome, what you would achieve if you did this thing that you were frightened about, you were anxious about, would it make a better version of you? Would your life be better? Would the opportunities be better? Now, if the answer is no, and you have to be honest, because sometimes we get peer pressure, don’t we? We get pressure from all the noise out there, and there’s a bloody lot of noise sometimes. The bloody social media giving you all that pressure. That supposedly what everybody’s doing. So we have to do it. But if the honest answer is, well, actually, it won’t make my life any better, it won’t make a better version of myself. Do you know what the answer is? Don’t do it. Because as you go back to that quotation, it’s a privilege, creating us, we’re choosing it, not being ordered to do it. If you don’t want it, or, you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. And that’s what I’m saying here. If you’re honest about it and you go, do you know what?

Cloughy: Can you change your belief just like that

Speaker A: The result will not make me better? Don’t do it. Stand up. Just say no. Because once you’ve said no, it disappears. But if the answer is honestly yes, then we have to think, well, let’s just guide our, unconscious mind a little bit, because we’ve got imagination. And no one even in when they try to no one can control your imagination. It’s in your mind, it’s in your head. You have it. It’s yours to do whatever you want. So we could go into the future, and if you were to think about it now, and you might want to do it, you might want to do it now. So if you could and there, you’re not you haven’t got anything that needs your attention or anything like that, driving a car and all that stuff, if you could just do it now, you might just want to listen to it, if you are doing this driving stuff. So you know what it’s about. But if you could do it now, and if you could close your eyes, just take away the distractions, you could think into the future now, having achieved that thing, what would it be like to have done it already? See what you’ll see, having got the results, the success. Hear what you’ll hear. Hear the internal voice. See those pictures in your mind of new opportunities having already been successful in this venture. Maybe the taste and smell of success. And then when you see and you hear and you smell and you taste, feel the feelings. And as you feel those feelings, just look out even further to the future and notice, having got this achievement, what new opportunities will come your way now? That continued growth, that next level, as it were, of the ultimate vision of you that you could look towards. and as you think of all of that, just notice what belief you have about yourself. What belief did you have? What belief must you have right now, having achieved all of this? just think of that and write it down. If you can. Write that belief down, that’s right now, just come back to me for the moment, open your eyes and think, going back to those old fears, that old anxiety, that old belief I’m not good enough, I don’t belong here. I don’t know why I do that funny voice. It’s not funny, is it? But I don’t belong here. Where did that bloody belief come from? Where did it come from in the past? Was it yours? Was it somebody else’s? Did someone say it to you? Because others opinions are not your business. Your opinions are ah, your business. And hopefully your opinions are based on sound experience and data, not other people’s, not other people’s words that aren’t backed up with data and facts. So just think where did that belief I’m not good enough, come from? Well maybe it came from that little you back then in the past when your unconscious mind tried to protect you from maybe feeling embarrassed and it stopped you doing the thing that would embarrass you. But that was then and it’s not now. We’ve talked about the past is a past and it doesn’t exist. It only exists in your head. So let it go. So if that belief doesn’t serve you, what would that better belief be? You’ve just thought of one as we went into the future. But even now, knowing that, would there be a better belief to have that would really support you and keep you? mhm? And you might say, well hey Cloughy, hey, hey slow down a bit, take a breath. Because I was getting excited, wasn’t I? Take a breath and just ask, I’m asking you Cloughy, can you just change your belief just like that? Can we just change just like that? Well I think you can. You can change your belief in a moment by the way. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a core belief because some people used to say, oh, you can never change a core belief. Well that’s BS. You can change a belief in a moment. the old four minute mile people used to believe you die if you run under four minutes a mile in under four minutes. Then good old Roger Bannister came along, beat it by just something like a half a second, didn’t he? Wasn’t much, just a little bit. First man to beat the four minute mile get under four minutes. What happened in the weeks to come? Every bugger was doing it. They changed their belief because they saw in that moment what they believed couldn’t be done. They saw it happen, it became real. So they can change a belief in a moment. And if that new belief serves you better, keeps you safer, your unconscious mind will take it on.

Imagine having that powerful, protective, safe belief that empowers you

Speaker A: So again, just as we did before, knowing that you can imagine and visualize, now you know what the success looks like having achieved that result. Imagine doing it that way. So if you were to just close your eyes again, imagine having that wonderful, powerful, protective, safe belief that empowers you, puts you at cause, taking responsibility. And when you do that, imagine doing that thing to achieving that success. Haven’t quite got there yet. You’re going to do it. What’s it like taking those steps? Maybe they’re little baby steps. Some people don’t like baby steps but just call them small steps and getting bigger. Walking, then skipping, then running, noticing the new opportunities coming your way even when you haven’t even got the final success yet. But you’re still seeing new opportunities, maybe meeting new people, learning new things. Feel what that’s like. See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear. And notice the feeling. And be honest. Does it feel safer? Safer than that old fear and anxiety? Does this way protect you better? And if you said to your unconscious mind, hey, have a look, have a look at this. Notice this is safer than what you used to do. Because that old way of doing things was from a long time ago and it’s no longer appropriate. These are using my all my skills now and learning more. And just ask your unconscious mind would it be better, would it be better to protect me in this way? This or something better? And you see that’s well, you can open your eyes again. If you did close them, by the way, wouldn’t that be better? And that’s how you can change. Just like that. You might have to do it a couple of times, but bucket that’s not too much to ask, is it? When you go to the gym, do, you get supersonically fit in that first bloody hour that you go to the gym and you never have to go again? Well, of course you don’t. You do. Bit by bit. You build up you build up that skill of visualization. Because once you get that empowerment, things become clearer. You get to feel the feeling. And you see there’s a great quote in that book and it said this ultimately, your desire to create and I put in brackets, the real you, the real me must be greater than your fear. Well, we’ve just shown it by when we go into that visualization, doing things a different way, that desire will be so much greater than your fear because you’ll have better resources than fear itself. And that’s why we just say to our unconscious mind, look at this, I’m going to show you my conscious mind will now show you that fear and anxiety is now inappropriate. It doesn’t work in this event. And if you think of it as being and finding your real voice, there was another quote. You’re the only one with this voice. Think of that. No one else in this world before, ah, in the past, now or in the future will have your voice. people say we always used to say in hypnosis, you’re unique. And it was a bit of a word. It is a word, but it was a bit of a saying. But it’s true though, isn’t it? You are unique. You’re the only one with this voice. Let’s not hide it. Let’s, grow it, train it to become such a wonderful musical sound in the world, to resonate, resonate in you and resonate in others. And all you’re doing is doing this thing about creating the real you, taking the responsibility to do it because no other swore then no other person will help you will do it for you. They can’t. It’s no good. You’re saying, can you do it for me? No. You have to take those steps. You take the responsibility. And when you do that, the, oh, if only looking back, oh, if only I could have I shoulda, all that bullshit would disappear. And even sometimes, because I’m not going to say every time you do this, you’re going to have complete success because things happen. Sometimes we don’t. Maybe we just make not the wrong choice, but we make a choice, which isn’t in that way, but we learn. We learn from the results that we get. They’re not failures. We learn from the results we get. We are flexible. And we head for that goal again, having learned from it. And it’s the learnings that keep you free. Learnings, that keep you safe. And remember or re remember intention. When you set your intention and you decide to have the will to do whatever it takes, your confidence in your competence will grow immeasurably. Because you’ve set your intention, you’re going to do this. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get there. And I’m going to use that wonderful positive belief. I’m going to find my voice. I’m going to find this version of me that I have out there. And then when I get there, I’m going to have another one. Yeah. Take a breath. Cluffy. Take a breath. You see, I made a meta note of this, as if I was looking down at my notes and what I was talking about and the meta note was this will always be a work in progress. So there’s always another opportunity. There’s always time in the now to keep creating. And you can learn from everything. That was the other thing I wanted to tell you. Doesn’t matter what you’re experiencing, there’s some learnings there that will help you grow. Just as I was reading this book about creativity, and I haven’t even finished it, and I found these wonderful sayings that inspired me because we can take it. It’s like taking different skills and put them into different areas because that’s what we do. it’s not only skill stacking, but it’s using skills in different areas because there’s always a different way to do things or not manipulate, but evolve using different skills. And all you have to do, I guess, is just be a little bit curious. And I thought to myself, well, why is this all important? What’s so important about this bloody message that, you’ve come out with cluffy. And I thought to myself, well, why is this important?

Paul Clough: We have the privilege of choosing to create ourselves

Speaker A: And it comes down to the real, basic, simple statement. You I we get to choose. We get to choose. We have that wonderful privilege, as Rick Rubin says, of choosing to create us. and it is a privilege, isn’t it? And I always say, sort of say this to so many people, whatever your belief, if this was the one and only life we have, it is a privilege, because you get to choose. You get to do this. You get to choose. And if you don’t, you’re wasting that privilege. So let’s go do it. And if you want to read the book, it is a great book, Rick Rubin, and it’s called The Creative Act. It’s a great book. I haven’t finished reading it. I’ll come back with more I’m sure inspired me. Great book. There you go. I hope, as usual, that I communicated, and maybe with a bit more passion than I thought, but I communicated my thoughts in a way that inspires you just a little bit. Just a little bit to think, to muse, to visualize that ultimate vision of yourself, the beliefs that support that ultimate vision of who you really can be. And you take that responsibility. If I’ve done that job done, I’d love to hear if I did that, and if I didn’t, how could I have done it better? And maybe, what were the effects of you going into that visualization and taking that responsibility? I’d love to know what the effects were, the results, because then I can share them in another episode, because when we share the results, we get it inspires others. It’s not ego saying, oh, look at me. It’s no, look, this is what can be done. And we need people to tell to share what can be done, to inspire others. So if you’d like to drop me a line on, an email, it’s feedback at personal developmentunplug.com only comes to me, and obviously, if I do talk about it, it will be anonymous. Not me, you. That would be great. And there’s a button, that button of sharing or following, if you could press that, that would make a huge difference. If we all did it, I do it. I’ve got a couple of followings of myself and other people because I know it makes a difference to their podcast as well. If you can follow and, subscribe, it just helps make people more aware they get it in their inbox or whatever as a suggestion to look at, and it will help them, I’m sure. So if you could do that, that’d be wonderful. And share the episodes as well. Share the podcast. Hey, I want to take a breath. I need a cup of coffee. I need to relax and see what comes after this. So do have more fun than you can stand. Wallow in joy and happiness. Yeah. Nearly Christmas, too. Isn’t it, though? We can spread it, too. Spread everything. Have fun. Till the next time, my friend. Thank you for your time. I am so grateful that you would just spend some time with me. So let’s create the life and the world we want to live in. I’ll see you soon. Bye bye. It’s time to fly. You are now leaving the unclouded mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development. Unplugged.