#378 A Slap In The Face

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A Slap In The Face

A metaphorical one in the kisser!

Now this episode is personal and a little embarrassing being not what you know but doing what you know or not doing. It will make sense   :O)

We all know the saying “First things first” don’t we? Again we are getting into that realm of knowing and doing or in this case ………..

As you know, if you’re a regular listener, I have talked in the past about wheels and spokes, buckets, and all things about what our lives and personal development are made up of. Well I was getting more frustrated and demotivated the more I looked at my ‘stuff‘ and then it came

The Slap!

The one in the kisser!

And now I understand and am on my way again.

Want to know more? You will have to press play – IT’S A PODCAST!!!!!!

When you do please share this with a few deserving people


Shine brightly


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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism

Here’s your heads up to this longer podcast, the metaphorical. Metaphorical, metaphorical slap in the face. Learning about something and where we’re headed. The ultimate vision of who we really want to be. We strive to be. We’re inspired to be. That’s where we’re going. Something I learned about myself. Bit embarrassing, but hey, ho, that’s what we’re going to do, and we’re going to dive straight in.

No introduction about the personal development unplugged podcast

No introduction about the personal development unplugged podcast. You know it. And if you don’t, I’m sure you’ll find out. Okay, have a listen. It’s more interesting to listen than my introduction. Okay, have a listen right now. Personal. Personal develop. Personal developer. well, a slap in the face. A slap in the face. There’s a title for you, and it wasn’t a literal slap in the face, although it did feel like a little bit. It’s some metaphorical slap in the face that I got from me. I slapped myself in the face.

When you go out to make improvements, you can’t not make an. Improvement, can you

So let’s do first things first, because.

We don’t always do that, do we?

And that’s how I found out the hard way. So this is a personal sharing, as it were. I like to share personal stuff.

Don’t tell anybody about this because it’s personal me to you, and it’s embarrassing. It’s em barassing to me because it shows.

And showed me this wasn’t the slap in the face, but it could have been.

It’s not what you know, it’s doing what you know that counts.

And here’s sort, of an example. Way back in February 2019, four years.

Ago,and in my notes, I swore, swore to myself, two episodes, hashtag one.

Two, three and one, two, four.

Wheels and buckets, and they’re all about what you want to do with your life.

Diffeent buckets for different areas of your life. Wheels, different. They’re all the same theme. Every wheel was a different area of my life. So I’m going to have to do another one. I think I’m going to have to do another one on that because put it all together.

So embarrassingly, and this.

Is the embarrassing part I’ve been working.

On myself, just like you. I don’t stop.

I know I’ve got things that I need to change, and we can. And every time we grow, we grow, and there’s other things we can add to it. We’ve got new experiences, new learning, so we can keep making those improvements.

And I have made improvements.

You see, when you go out to make improvements, you can’t not make an.

Improvement, can you, really?

But you have to look back. You have to look back because you might say to yourself, well, maybe Cloughie, I do try, but I don’t notice.

The improvements I’ve made.


And that’s why we have to do.


That review, because any changes that you’ve made are now your new normal.


And your new normal tends to be.


Well, what issues, what issues did I have in that area?

And you have to look back and go, oh, yeah, I was a right old so and so doing that type of stuff.

But now I’ve changed.

Now you’re going to say cloughy, you’ve told me this before. Yes, I know, and I do repeat.

on this podcast.

But there’s a reason for that repetition. Tony Robbins used to say, repetition is.

A mother of skill.

And it’s a reminder, a re reminder, because we need reminders. It’s amazing how many times we hear.

Something, but it doesn’t go in.

And then there’s just that one time.

When, oh, yeah, I seem to remember that.


And there’s things I want to get.

To grip with different areas of me.

I want to get to grip with new things now.

And that’s what happens, because we realize how far we’ve moved, where we are now and now where we look to the future. What else do I want to do? What can I strive for?

Do you get that now?

What can I strive for next? Hopefully not too many things, because we get overwhelmed, and that’s when we get procrastination. So if you’re suffering procrastination or overwhelm, just dial it back a little bit. Dial it back. How many things am I trying to do at Once?

Because you can’t.

I like to think of each area of my life as being a wheel

Anyway, back to my story, back to.

My wheels and, my spokes. What the hell are you talking about, cloughy? Well, to me, instead of having buckets, different areas of my life. I like to think of each area of my life as being a wheel. Not the old wheel of life that people talk about or used to talk about. They still do, where you would split up a wheel up into different segments, and each segment would be an area.

Of your life, and you’d shade in.

Where you thought you were up to in your life and then go, well, if that was a wheel and you were riding a car. How bumpy would that be? You got to work on those areas.

To pull them all up.

But I found that just having one.

Area was too big, too vague, which.

Is why I said a wheel is an area of my life. But the spokes in between, they’re the things that make up the wheel. So you could have a wheel for health, and the spokes might be exercise.

Could be diet, could be what you.

Et, not when you eat, but things like, supplements.

Maybe it’s rest, sleep, who knows? That’s health.

But then there’s lots of other things.

Relationships and things like that. And I know I have to do this, and I don’t like the have.

To, and I know I need to do this, and I don’t like the word need, and I should do this and I should. It should be. I want to should. There’s a should in there already, isn’t there? We should all over ourselves.

And, I know I really want to do this. And I started again, and I got.

This lovely little notebook, and it’s all divided. It was bought to me from my son. And I’ve got little yellow, little yellow pages in between with lots of other pages in between. So I thought, to me, that’s it. Every yellow page will be the start of a new wheel, and every page.

Will be a spoke within that wheel.

And then I just got into it, and then I found myself. I started. Have you ever done this? You start with the best of intentions.

And it’s not the intention, I would go to, but it’s like the best of intentions.

I want to do this.

It’s a good idea.

But I tell myself off now because I found myself. I didn’t carry on.

I didn’t keep it going, did bits and pieces.

I did the gym. I worked out a, lot of my health work about the exercises, because.

That was an easy one. I knew that.

So I was writing down stuff I knew and the sort of stuff I was doing, but because of that, it wasn’t that motivational. I wasn’t motivated to carry on with the hard stuff.

And then I just didn’t do it.

And then I got the biggest slap in the face.

Just like that.

I thought to myself, I’m doing all this stuff towards a bloody.



What are you doing?

What is this towards?

What are you trying to do?

I’ve got all the wheels. Got all the spokes. Well, I haven’t got the spokes. I got the wheels, but I didn’t.

Bother to get the spokes, but, I’m now questioning, are they the right ones?

Well, they’re not wrong, but could I do better ones?

And even that didn’t sort of, sort.

Of get me motivated. And then there it was again. Another slap in the face. I was metaphorically pretty dazed by then. You see what happened? It suddenly got to me, this big aha moment.

You dick, Cloughie, you’re dope. Not good dope, but dopey.

Old dopey.

Dopey Cloughie.

You have to have the ultimate vision that you’ve got in the moment

I reminded myself, I’ve been talking about ultimate visions. The best version of yourself, the best version of us, me, you.

And can you imagine it? Well, I could. Not quite in the detail I wanted to at the moment, but I’ve talked.

About it so much about him.

It’s all in your imagination. And by the way, ultimate vision is never going to be ultimate because it’s.

Going to keep evolving, you’re going to find ways to keep improving, but you have to have the ultimate vision that you’ve got in the moment. And I did one of these a long time ago.

I did a lovely ultimate vision in.

My early days of NLP, I wrote out my ultimate vision and it was beautifully typed. I put it in a lovely font, I put it on a six by.

Four card and it was lovely.

And it was load of balls, really. Well, it wasn’t then. It was what I was going to aspire to. But when I look at it, or when I looked at it again not too long ago, I thought to myself, I’ve changed so much, so much of those words now. are they nice words?

But they’re no longer appropriate to me. They don’t fit. I need to move on.

Well, I have moved on and I need to move this ultimate vision and.

I started to think about it.

First things first. What’s the intention of having wheels, spokes, buckets, whatever you want to improve this personal development. The intention is to be the best.

Version of yourself, isn’t it?

So it’s a big picture? The big picture, the most best version. The real me, the best real me I can think of. That’s my intention. That’s where I’m going. And everything else now will fit inside that.

Paul: I wanted to know who I want to aspire to be

First things first. So before thinking of the sections, I.

Wanted to know who I want to aspire to be.

To what end as well. What would happen if I, you know, what, that ultimate vision of myself, what would that pull do? be

Because it’s the ultimate vision of me.

So what did I do? I started to see myself doing my little visualization, but then I was doing it writing down, because you know what I say, you got to write that sucker down.

So in that book, I found a.

Blank page before for all the other.

Stuff I’ve done, and I wrote down everything I could about that me, I.

Aspire to be to, or I aspire to be that ultimate vision, that best version of myself. I wrote everything I could.

What would the beliefs, that ultimate vision, that ultimate me, the best version of me have? And they weren’t the beliefs I have.

Now, but there are the beliefs. I know that if I had them, well, it would be amazing. What about the values? The values that ultimate vision of me would hold himself to? And I wrote those down.

And the good thing, well, to me.

I felt good about that because they.

Were the same values that I have in me now.

It’s all about being trust, honesty. But then a new one popped in.


yeah, they come together. And then I started to think, well.

When that ultimate version of me, that.

Best version of me is living a life with these wonderful, powerful beliefs about my identity, who I believed I was with, the wonderful values, the things that were really important to me, that me out there, what emotions would I experience more of, what behaviors would I do.

The high level behaviors that, I would hold myself to, and, what would those behaviors begin to attract or do?

And there was things like being non.


Judgmental, because I’m a little bit judgmental sometimes, you. But being open minded, being kind, looking deeper. and I went on and on, and it made me quite emotional to write it, to think, where is this all coming from?


And then I realized it’s coming from me, cloughy, it’s inside you.

So if it’s inside you to write.

Down, you know, you can aspire to be there because you’ve got those skills. All you have to do is start. How do you do that?

How do you start to use them?

I didn’t finish that sentence off, but I jumped in. You can start to think of, well, what would happen if I acted as.

If I was the ultimate vision. Yeah, I probably won’t get it all. I know I won’t, but I’ll get a lot further, lot nearer if I act as if.

And now when I think about it, and I just think of how I would act, how that ultimate vision of.

Me would be, I can now visualize.

It so much more.

I can visualize me, cloughy Paul out there.

And then I can start to say.

Well, what would the wheels the sections of my life, the content and whatever. What would be the real special, specific.

Wheels that make up that ultimate vision?


And then the spokes that are part.

Of that ultimate vision.

And you see, now I’ve got that. Can you tell my voice has changed? I’ve just noticed my voice has changed because I’m more motivated to start working on it. Really looking at those wheels and the spokes.


So that’s what I’m going to do. Maybe I said about another, I think this is going to have to be another pod as well. So another pod, another episode. That’s, if you’re interested, of how we.

Can really get that ultimate vision in.

Our heads, I think I’ve given you.

A good idea, but if you wanted.

A bit more help with maybe like a little process to do that, a little visualization in an episode, we could do that. And then how we can take that into wheels, spokes, buckets, whatever you like.

And the whole thing about this is it’s bloody simple.

And to do it, all you need to do is those simple steps, the simple steps that I’m taking.

And it is an. And it’s exciting. It’s exciting. Now let me know.

Let me know if that’s of interest.

To you and we’ll do another episode.

I’d love to know what your thoughts are about this. Is it inspiring or has it inspired you? I’m not an inspiring speaker, but does it inspire you?

A little bit.

And, just as a re reminder, my meta view of this one, just looking down on everything I’d been talking about or thinking about and writing about.

Paul Clough: Think about what your intention is when thinking about personal developmen

First things first. Before we start, set your blood. Think about what your intention is. No, I thought my intention was to work out the bits and pieces. No, my first intention was, where am I headed?


What do I expect? What am I looking for? Now?

You might say, oh, maybe I.

Missed out all these years, all these.

Months, all these days, but it’s never.

Too late because we’re always evolving and.

You have to, so we’re always starting over. So I wonder how curious you couldbe about that and doing what, you.

Know, actually doing and not just knowing what, you know, doing what, you know, the mastery of you bringing back that intention. There you go. There you go. I hope there’s a few golden. Gold. Yeah, Goldie golden nuggets out there for you. And you feel inspired to give yourself a metaphorical slap in the face. Oh, dough. As homer from the Simpsons would say, and start to think about personal development. Where am I going what is my ultimate vision of me? Who do I aspire to be? Yeah. And if you could share this with other people, that’d be awesome. I always like you to share. It would be great if you do. Because if everyone just gets that little glimmer of moving towards your ultimate vision, it’s what we’re put on this, I believe, put on this little old planet earth to do, to be it’s growth, evolving and creating new things as we do it. And everyone gets a benefit. So if you could share this, that would be awesome. Press that subscribe follow button, all that, all that stuff I say. And email me if you want another episode in this or what part of it you’d like even more detail on. And that’s feedback at personal developmentunplugged.com. And you can catch me on Twitter, or x or whatever it is now. And Instagram all that stuff. Have a little look, just google my name, unplugged and all that stuff, and you’ll see my face and you’ll know it’s me because I’ll have all that I have, put up all my reels and things like that. Anyway, until the next time, my friend. This has been fun. I enjoyed this. So let’s have a good one and fly. Oh, and also have more fun than you can.

You are now leaving the uncloved mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friends.

Personal development unplugged.