#380 Modeling Role Models

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Modeling Role Models

Can we learn from role models? Maybe if we have a BS monitor  :O)

What do I mean by that? Well, some people have acquired and learned skills that we can learn from by modeling them, what they do, and how they do their stuff.

Others pretend, with their shiny showreels on social media and even believe their own hype and we need to be careful whose skills we choose to emulate. Notice I said skills and not the person, we can never be another person, and nor should we, being the unique person you are.

So let’s take away the term role models and replace it with skills we would like to learn from people who have these skills already. It becomes the quickest way to learn as you don’t have to learn from their mistakes.

The easiest way is to pick one skill at a time, more than that it becomes overwhelming – you’d be surprised how much detail is in each. KISS

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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism


This longer podcast is all about role models. Get specific and get really inspired



Can anyone be a true role model? I was thinking about role models


But that’s not why I’m telling you that, because I want to talk about role models. Role models. I mean, do you have role models? And I think we do. But also I think we can get a little bit fixated on them. They become the be all and end all of our goal. And you see, I was thinking about this questioning, can anyone be a true role model? Because even when you think about it, I won’t call them failures, but they are failures. We all have our things, which aren’t so good, things we need to work on. And they, like us, like me, have to work on their bits. But whether they put themselves up as a role model or whether we don’t like the word society, but they’re put up as a role model, they come up on YouTube, they come up on Instagram, all that stuff. And after a while they, unbeknowing maybe become a role model with all their flaws. Flaws is a better way. Not failures, flaws. Because we’re just human. And a lot of those people talk about being vulnerable. It’s so good to be vulnerable. But yet on the reels that we see, they are the least vulnerable person. In fact, they to me, sometimes give off the air that they are, ah, living a perfect life for some. Maybe I’m just seeing it through a different filter, I don’t know. Because we see so many people with their show reels shiny, perfect. We’ve all seen them, haven’t we? if you looked at my videos, you’ll notice that they’re not shiny, they’re not show. And they’re certainly not perfect. That’s not their fault. Well, the majority there is going to be one or two that, to push it too far, do it for their own ends, as it were. But the thing is, what I also thought about this is maybe we’re putting them up as role models and they never wanted to be. They’re just doing their best job. They’re putting up something for us to learn. And for me, this is the way I see it. The ones that I look up to aspire to be, maybe aspire to take on not to be like that, to be them, but to learn their skills. Because they can be both in some ways both inspiring and also down putting. Because it’s a show reel and you can get the reverse effect. I guess I want to be just like that. But look at me now. I’ll never be able to be like that. And it’s then reinforcing those negative, limiting beliefs. I’m not good enough because I can never be good enough, can never be like that. But it’s a show reel. You never see all the years that’s gone into it. Certainly the ones that I’m thinking of, because I think they are genuine people, they’ve just been put up there. so it’s not them wanting to be m a role model. They’re just shining what they’ve learned, shining the light, ah. Of what they’ve learned to guide other people. And I think when I look at it that way, I got to use a different filter. I think that’s the difference. We have to have a filter, a BS filter. So you see, I don’t want to imitate. This is, me talking about me again. I don’t want to imitate, but coming through NLP, neurolinguistic programming, I do want to be able to model, you see, I want to because when you model somebody, you model what they are good at. Obviously, you don’t model the stuff that they’re not. So if we can model what they are really good at, how they are thinking, maybe we can get to the pictures in their minds, but we can certainly get some glimpses of them. So it’s not imitation. In some ways it. Maybe it is, but it’s not imitation for imitating to be like them. It is try to find the skills and how we can adapt them. Adapt them in our own way. So I say how we do that. Well, you need that filter first, the Bs filter. And once we’ve cleared those people away, we can then look at what is it about them that inspires us?



Model people you aspire to be like or have skills you would aspire to learn


I want you to think back. Think back to the people that maybe the word role models is not a good description. Cloughy people you aspire to be like or have the skills you would aspire to learn. what are the things that inspire them or inspire you to be like that? Maybe it’s their confidence. And I know we’re seeing the show reel, but if you look at certainly the people I’m following, I’m noticing some of their videos are lectures. So it’s not a show reel if they’ve not edited it. they are giving a talk, they are trying to share what they know and then you can pick up, well, they have this air of confidence, the way they move their body. Maybe I could learn and try that on. Because when you’re modeling, you’re trying things on and seeing how you can adapt it to yourself, or maybe adapt what you do into something like that and notice, is it their voice, is it the way they can just pause? For me, and these are my things, I think I’m guessing how people can pause and just suddenly come out with the right words to be able to communicate in such a precise way. To me, that’s awe inspiring and it is inspiring. Their use of language. Maybe it’s a tone they use. Maybe. I always love it when you can see people who just laugh, laugh at themselves, laugh with other people. To me, when you can be like that, that is true confidence in yourself, that is being vulnerable in the. I think the nice way you’re showing, we say show up and show your true self, but actually showing your own qualities. Now, whether you like them or not, it doesn’t matter, not to them, because they’re saying, this is me, like me or not. And I think that’s a great bit of inner confidence you could have. Maybe they are demonstrating skills, skills that you would like to learn. But the thing about this is, you can see, I’ve been pretty specific about the type of confidence, the use of language, those pauses, the way they talk, walk. But you have to get specific, I think, because you’re not going to be able to learn the whole myriad because it’s too big and it’s too general. So it’s about, I think, looking at the people you would like to be more like in their skill set and pick one particular skill and work on that. Because once you get that, you can then maybe build on from that about them building on another aspect of their skills or somebody else and put them together. Because this is all about you, not them. And because it’s about you, I don’t know, people say, oh, it’s all about you, but it is all about you, not them. It’s about how you can be inspired to learn. And then as you review what you’ve learned and notice the effects, did it make your life better? Did it make it worse? And of course, one thing we have to remember is it’s going to be bloody awkward when we start because it’s not going to be, oh, I’ll just do it this way. Because you’re going against, I guess, your learnt behaviors, your own habits. But I think your unconscious mind, once it understands how important it is for you, how valuable it’s ah, a value to you and it will make you a more comfortable person. I don’t want to call it a better person, but you’ll be improving your skills and it’s your skills you’re improving, becoming that better version of yourselves, expanding, evolving that version of yourself into what you’re truly here for. I know that’s a bit woo woo lala maybe, but that’s what you’re here for, to create something, I believe to create something special. And it doesn’t have to be the biggest, biggest thing in the world, but you can just leave little golden nuggets around, do little kind acts, things like that. But when you do it from your confidence, you show people, you show people what can be done. And I think sometimes instead of just looking at one person, you take two or three in that genre. So you’re starting in a database, they’re all doing the same type of thing in that one skill set. now I’m getting. So it’s a general skill in a specific area. I could learn that. And now you’re building not just from one person, you are building your own skill set by really modeling a whole genre of that skill set.



NLP modeling is really getting into a specific person to find out beliefs


So I wonder how many people, first of all, if you would, because it’s a personal development podcast, begin to think of the type of skills you would like to learn from other people. Now, ideally it would be someone you could talk to and ask them exactly what you do. The NLP modeling is really getting into a specific person to find out their thoughts, their beliefs, the pictures they make in their mind, the sequence they put those things into their minds and how they talk to themselves. But that’s not always the case. You’ve got that ability, not the ability, you haven’t got the. I don’t know what I’m going to talk about now. You haven’t got that facility of being able to talk to that person. So we’re going to use things like YouTube, we’re going to use things like podcasts, because you can learn so much. You can use things as books as well because people will explain what they’re thinking and then you can model the little significant parts of their thinking. So I wonder if you could just, first of all, maybe just instead of thinking about the people you want to model is what are the things you would like to model? So what specific skills would you like to improve upon or learn newly? Maybe, just let them roll onto a paper, a piece of paper, because once you start getting them on paper, you always know, write that sucker down. It will then, I think, be able to intuit that, the word intuit, be intuitive about other things and other thoughts will come into your mind, which you can slam on that piece of paper. And now you’re building up and go, they’re all those skills, which one is the most useful to me? In fact, they’re all maybe leading you into a one direction of a particular skill. And then you can see, well, how would that affect my life if I learned that skill or if I just got, I have that skill, but I want to get better at it, how would that improve my life? Maybe it’d be my career, maybe it’d be the way I socialize with people, maybe with myself, maybe with my partner, my best friend, significant other, all that stuff. And when you get that, then you can go, okay, where can I find that information? Because now you know how important it is to you because you need to know the effect that it will have on your life. Start that way. And then you understand, ah, it’s going to be of value to me. And then get the belief, well, I’m going to do this. That’s the only belief you need. I’m going to do this. So now it becomes at the highest level, it’s an identity belief, because I’m going to do this, I can do this and, it’s a value to you. So beliefs and value are the highest part of the pyramid apart from your identity, but they’re linked to your identity. So now you can start looking around, you can start finding that set of people. Maybe this is only one person. You go, that is the one skill, that’s it. But maybe there’s more. You get a database, or maybe you look around and go, actually, out of all these people, this is the guy who does it best and this is a woman who does it best. I don’t know how. you know what I mean? And then you can start studying and looking for that one skill. If you try to do it all, tell you now, it’ll blow your mind because they’re too big. But you do that one skill, and then you find another and then another, and you begin to act as if. Now, how do you start to act as if? Because I’m going to give you a quick how to in there. You see, what you can do is some people would say, well, just imagine yourself doing it. And you go, I can’t do that. I can’t just imagine myself doing that. Some people can. But here’s an easy way to do it, because we like easy. We like simples. And just because it’s simple and it’s easy doesn’t mean to say you don’t have to do the work. You don’t have to put the effort in because you do. So you have to put time aside. How long? It’s minutes, maybe a minute or so to start off with. But here’s how you do it. Are you ready? Now I’m going to tell you how to do it, because you don’t have to do it now, because maybe you have to do that work first. But here’s how you would do it. Or you could, you begin to notice, say, have either movie screen or just see that person out in front of you, the person you’re going to model doing the thing, and you see them doing it. So in effect, you are replaying that video that you’ve watched on maybe YouTube, or you’re imagining seeing them talk if you’ve heard it on a podcast or in a book. But you can imagine them doing that thing that you want to model because it’s important to you. I know it’ll happen. And as you imagine seeing that other movie or just seeing that person just suspended out there in space doing that thing that you want to model. And then as you do that, begin to allow it to morph into you. So over a period of 1015 seconds, the picture in your mind, that picture of that you over there, or that them over there, slowly morphs into you over there, and you can begin to see you doing the very same thing. That’s right. Now, you could just practice that to start off with, just practice seeing it morphing into you. And then as you get better at it, and it doesn’t have to be 2020 vision, for goodness sake, you know that. All you need to do is practice. And it’s an awareness as long as you can get an awareness that’s that it’s morphing into you and you get to understand it, you can then begin to maybe just flow out of your body into that. You over there, having morphed it into you, morphed them into you. You flow into you looking through your own eyes, seeing what you’ll see when you’re like that, hearing what you’ll hear when you like that. And feel, feel the emotions, feel the physicality of it. And then as you come back into you, because all you always have to come back into you, you can then begin to know how to act as if, and if you’ve got notes of the things you’re going to practice, that one little thing you can know, no, you can now start doing it because you’re acting as if you’ve got it already. And yeah, it’ll be clunky. Don’t think that, oh, I’ll be perfect every time because they’ve done it, they’ve evolved into that person. But you can learn that skill so much quicker now. It may have taken them ten years to evolve into that skill or evolve that skill into the thing you see now. You can do that in hours, minutes, and then you can start to think. I want you to think of two things when you do that. And you start to act as if you start learning. You actually start seeing. You’re reviewing what you’ve done. Yeah, it’s making a difference. You’ve got two things you can do. What other things can I learn? What other skills can I start to evolve inside me? But also, how can I be a model, a role model, as it were, for that skill? Now, you could share it. You could share how you did it, what you do, what you’ve learned.



You can inspire others by being an example of what can be done


That’s great to do, because when you do that, you become the author of it. You’re the teacher of your own skill. And when you do that, you’re learning twice as fast, twice as m, more in depth as it were. When you verbalize it to other people or you just write it down for yourself, you’re learning it at a much more detailed, specific level. And that’s awesome. But you can also do it by action, being the person you want to be wonderful, but also, inspiring others, others by being that example of what can be done. Because they saw you, what you used to be like, they’re seeing what you are now and you go, wow. Even if they didn’t even know what you were like, they’re looking at you and going, that’s a lovely skill to have. I could emulate that because you can inspire people just with the things that you do. And it’s in that sharing that makes a difference. Now you know where I’m going to come with this or go with this. It’s that sharing that makes a difference.



Have you ever shared this podcast? If you have, absolutely


So, to you. That’s right. You. Have you shared a question to you. Have you ever shared this podcast? If you have, absolutely. Bloody awesome. Thank you so much. Would you do it again? And if you haven’t shared it, why? No, I won’t say why not? Would you, please? It would be lovely if you did, because it’s going to. Yes. More people get to listen to it. It makes me feel better when I see the downloads. Yeah, of course it does. I have a little bit of ego in there. Of course it does. But also, I know that more people will be infected and affected by what we’re sharing because I believe it’s all good stuff. Some of it will really ring home, really resonate with people, with yourself, and then make a difference. So it just makes a difference to one person. Game over. It’d be brilliant. So if you would share, and you also know that, you always get those free hypnosis tracks, paulcloughonline.com podcast, all that stuff. So please feel free to dive in and get all the free stuff you can. When you do that, you’ll also get an email and ah, a newsletter, a monthly newsletter which comes out about every two or three months. And on that there’s a code, a discount code, so you can buy stuff, the premium stuff, at such a stupidly, ridiculously low price. Because I just want to make a difference to you, a difference to other people. There you go. that’s it. If you need more information about this, because I think we’ll go into this in more detail. I’m sure I say this every time, but if you need more detail, more, you’ve got a particular skill you want to learn and I can help you with that. Let me know. Email me, please, feedback at personal developmentunplug.com and I’ll bang you out. Reply and I’ll also create something for you. And, we’ll share it to so many more people, because we all need that. We really do. I need it gets my old gray matter going. It gets me to learn about myself, learn what I don’t know, and also reinforces what I do know. It’s that thing of sharing and getting to understand what you know and what you don’t know and how you can improve. And that’s why we’re all here, isn’t it? Anyway, my friend, thank you so much. From the heart of my bottom, or the bottom of my heart. and I’ll see you and hear from you, and you’ll hear from me real soon, because as usual, it’s time to fly. And if you hang on, if you’re new to this podcast, after the time to fly goes off, there’ll be a little introduction, like a post introduction, of what the unplugged, podcast is all about. There you go. Enjoy and fly.



This is the personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis


You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Hey, this is the personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis. Yeah, hypnosis, NLP, neurolinguistic programming. Don’t worry what it is. It’s just a mass of processes that we’re going to get you to change. Change to let go of anxiety, low self esteem, and create massive, massive, supreme inner confidence. But that’s confidence in your confidence and confidence in your confidence, which means you can do anything and be well, be safe to enjoy, enjoy the world as it should be, with you at, the helm, creating the life that you want. That’s what this podcast is about. You and being the best you, you could be, singing from your real voice, aligned with your mission, aligned with your passions. That’s what it’s about. So if you’re interested in letting go of anxiety, if you’re interested in letting go of fear, guilt, all those blooming syndromes, impostor syndromes, and every little bit of the mind which is negative, then have a listen here, because we got some wonderful processes and lots of good conversations with, between you and me to get us both thinking in such wonderful ways. You, I’m sure you’ll enjoy them. Just take the trance to have a. Have a listen close.