I’m Not Good Enough — Where Did That Even Come From?
Understanding the Roots of a Limiting Belief**
We’ve all had that moment — or many moments — where a thought rises in the back of the mind like a gloomy cloud: “I’m not good enough.”
It’s so common it’s almost universal. And yet, when you really sit with it, the belief feels incredibly personal, as if you’re the only one carrying it.
So where does it come from?
Why does it linger?
And most importantly, how do we dissolve it?
In this FMQ, I want us to slow things down and take a curious look at this belief. Not to solve it today — we’ll do that together in the longer episode — but to understand how it formed. Because when you understand a belief, it begins to loosen. The glue weakens. And change becomes possible.
The Big Lie: “I’m Not Good Enough”
This belief doesn’t arrive fully formed. It grows out of something smaller, something more specific — an old emotion, an early moment, a comment that hit too hard, or an experience that your unconscious mind misunderstood.
It might have started with:
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A family member who said something careless.
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A teacher who used shame instead of encouragement.
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A group of kids who learned how to wound with words.
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A moment where you felt embarrassed, scared, unseen or overwhelmed — and your unconscious mind tried to “protect” you by assuming something negative about you.
Over time, your mind generalises it.
A specific moment turns into a general belief. Then it starts colouring everything.
And because you’re smart and capable and self-aware, you fight it — but it keeps coming back. Because the belief wasn’t created consciously. It was created unconsciously.
And that’s where we go to make change.
Why We Don’t Work Directly on “I’m Not Good Enough”
If you only work on the general belief, your results will also be general — and temporary.
To really shift it, we need to find the identity belief underneath it:
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“I’m stupid.”
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“I’m invisible.”
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“I’m a failure.”
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“I’m not meant to succeed.”
This is where the emotional charge lives.
This is the belief that got tucked away years ago and disguised itself as “I’m not good enough.”
And once you find it, something incredible happens:
You understand where it came from. You recognise that it was never actually true.
And the belief starts to dissolve.
A Simple Exploratory Exercise
This is NOT therapy — it’s gentle curiosity.
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Think of the belief “I’m not good enough.”
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Feel it only at a 5 out of 10 — never more.
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Place your hand where you feel it in your body.
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Ask:
“I’m not good enough because I’m…?” -
Let the words come. They may surprise you.
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When they do, just acknowledge them. You’ve found the seed.
That’s all you need to do today.
What Happens Next
In the longer episode, we’ll take that underlying belief — the one you uncover — and we’ll change it. Safely. Gently. And completely.
No digging into painful memories.
No retraumatising.
Just working at the unconscious level where the belief lives, and guiding your mind toward a new, healthier, empowering way of being.
The Truth You’re Moving Toward
You were never “not good enough.”
You simply carried a belief that tried (in a clumsy way) to protect you.
And now you’re ready to let it go.