#387 I’m Scarred and Imperfect PART 2

I’m Scarred and Imperfect PART 2

We’ve done the talk now it’s the walk

In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, embracing imperfections isn’t just about accepting them; it’s also about engaging in the profound act of self-healing. When we confront our scars and imperfections head-on, we embark on a journey of healing that can lead to greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace.

Self-healing begins with acknowledging and accepting our imperfections without judgment or self-criticism. It’s about recognizing that our scars, whether physical or emotional, are part of our story but do not define us. Instead of viewing them as flaws to be hidden or fixed, we can see them as opportunities for growth and transformation.

One of the most powerful tools in self-healing is self-compassion. Just as we would show kindness and understanding to a friend facing challenges, we can offer the same compassion to ourselves. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with gentleness, patience, and understanding, especially in times of struggle or pain.

Another essential aspect of self-healing is forgiveness. This includes forgiving ourselves for past mistakes, letting go of resentments, and releasing the burdens of guilt or shame. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning harmful behavior or forgetting the past; rather, it’s about freeing ourselves from the emotional weight that holds us back from healing and growth.

Self-care is also integral to the process of self-healing. This involves prioritizing our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being through practices such as exercise, mindfulness, creative expression, and seeking support from loved ones or professionals when needed. By nurturing ourselves holistically, we create the conditions for healing to take place.

Finally, self-healing requires courage and vulnerability. It’s about facing our fears, confronting painful emotions, and being willing to explore the depths of our inner selves. This journey isn’t always easy or linear, but it is incredibly rewarding, leading to greater self-awareness, resilience, and a deeper sense of connection to ourselves and others.

In embracing imperfections as opportunities for growth and engaging in the art of self-healing, we empower ourselves to live more authentically, wholeheartedly, and compassionately. As we navigate this journey, may we remember that our scars are not signs of weakness but testaments to our strength and capacity for transformation.

And that’s where we go now – into the process of self-care and that transformation. Buckle up!!!



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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism

Let’s dive straight in with a recap. So are you going to be open and honest with me, with yourself


So here’s your heads up to this part two. The part two of I’m, scarred. I’ve got imperfections, and I’m celebrating them because I’m acknowledging them. Let’s dive straight in with a recap. Personal, personal. Developer. Developer. Plugged. plugged, plugged, plugged. So you’re back for more. Back for more. So are you going to be open and honest with me, with yourself? Are you going to notice? Because let’s recap. This is part two. Let’s just very quickly recap. We know that all. We’re all a little bit broken, we’re all a little bit damaged. We’ve all got a little ism now and again.


We’ve got a little bit of fear.


We’Ve got a little bit of anxiety.


We’Ve got a little bit of I’m.


Not good enough in different contexts. And we want to bring those out, out into the light and put a spotlight on them and understand how we can learn from them. So you can remember what we talked about, because only a couple of days ago, you might even be putting one and two together. I don’t know. But now let’s go through the process of what we’re going to do with when we acknowledge these imperfections, these little scars. And if for some of you, they are pretty big, just remember, one to one therapy is absolutely awesome, but you’ll have done the work.


Listen to this.


You’ll have done a lot of the work for yourself and the therapist, because you’ll know the one thing, the one thing that, when changed, will make the difference. That’s where we’re going, by the way. That’s where we’re going. Little heads up. So, are we going to be good? So, really set your intention now I’m going to find the one thing that when I change it, it’s going to affect my life immeasurably in a wonderful way. So, having said that now, and we’re all in the same little groove, let’s go. Let’s go and have the second part of I’m scarred, I’m imperfect. Okay, let’s go.



What are your qualities? What are the things that you do well


So. So now what you’ve made that mind map of some people might call it my faults, my imperfections, my acknowledgement, my mind map of my imperfections. And you will, notice then you’re recognizing that you’ve lived a life, because someone who hasn’t lived a life doesn’t have qualities or have imperfections. They are a straight liner. So I want you to flip it because you have lived a life, and you’ve lived a life, and you’ve experienced other things in your life, the good things, the positive things, and you’ve learned a bloody lot. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t learned and want more. So what are your qualities? What are the things that you do well? You enjoy? Now? Simple mind map, my qualities. Now, I don’t know what number it is.


I’ll see if I can find it.


Before the end, but I did a longer podcast on my qualities and how it came about, because it came about when I was really broken, really, really, really broken, and I had to bring it out just to find out whether, you know, find something in my life that had a quality. One thing I think that was, I can breathe. That’s how bad it was, you know? Okay, well done, cluffy. You can breathe. So you’re here, at least you’re still above ground. But that, that’s how it came about. But this is now to bring to light the things that you do well, the things that you enjoy.


And you’ve only got to have done.


It once, because if you’ve done something well once, that means you could do it well again. And there are things like, have you ever helped anybody? Have you ever, you know, been selfless.


Service, didn’t want anything in reply, but.


You just helped somebody. Maybe you’ve just made someone smile and.


Just took away the.


The edge. Maybe things you’ve learned, you know, like me, I’ve learned hypnosis, and then I’ve learned deeper into all the different processes that I can use. And some I’ve just, you know, made them my own in some way. And that, to me, was my quality. Now, I know that you have done similar things with the things that you enjoy. You know, maybe it’s some type of sport and you don’t have to excel.


In it, really, you know, to a top level professional.


No, I did that well. I enjoyed it. I did it with a good intention, and I, you know, I got where. Got to a level, which I’m happy with. I know I can get better. but this is a quality in me. Maybe you just maybe like looking after animals, being with your best friend, telling jokes, making people laugh, telling stories, just being there. So many different things that you can put out or put out onto that piece of paper. And if you want, you also have a hypnosis track for it to use with that mind map of my qualities. And all you have to do where you know where to go. It’s paulclufonline.com podcast. And you’ll get that email and you get your personal link and you go there and you scroll down and you go, oh, there it is, my qualities.


I’ll have a little listen to that. And it’s hypnosis.


so it goes in the conscious and unconscious level. Whoa. Because a lot of this is conscious, but your unconscious mind is always listening. Remember Deepak Trop, I can’t say his name, Deepak Chopra wrote in one of his books, your unconscious mind is always listening in on your conversations. And your conversations can be verbal. That, internal voice of yours could.


Be what you’re thinking, the pitches you.


Make in your mind.


Well, when you start looking at your.


Qualities, you’re going to feel good, and your unconscious mind is listening, watching.



Now, what I want you to do is look at both mind maps


Now, what I want you to do is look at both, both of those mind maps now. And, as you look at your qualities, you know, you’ve got the, the ability to learn and do things. You’ve got a load of skills there.


We would call it in the hypnosis.


World or hypnotherapy world, as resources. You’ve got a load of resources there to help you change. And then with that, if you look at them all and go, how good.


Do I feel about looking at all my qualities?


Get that inner feeling, that emotion, and then look at that page of your imperfections and just notice, if I could only change one of those, just one, which one would make the most difference to my qualities? Which one would make those qualities shine even more?


Because it will.


One of them will just jump out.


You go round that circle.


You go, ah, that’s it. That’s the one I’m going to work on. I’m not going to do the rest. Not yet. Because, you see, when you change one, those other buggers change and they don’t feel as bad or they disappear completely. That’s the beauty of doing it this way. You don’t do a scattergun approach, pray and spray, or spray and pray, whichever way that goes. You just look at it and let your unconscious mind and your conscious mind come together and go, if I could.


Only change one of those.


Which one of those imperfections, those isms, if I got a handle on it, if I changed it, what one would make the most difference to my qualities? And when you look at that, you’re going to take, okay, that’s the one. Now, we can, get it on another page, maybe. What small steps can I start to use?


Where do you find those bloody steps?


Well, first of all, you have to schedule it down. We’ve talked about this so many times. Schedule a better time down for yourself.


Because no other bugger is going to work on yourself for you.


You’ve got a wonderful, powerful brain. You got a wonderful, most superpower of an unconscious mind with all those resources.


So if you put down half an.


Hour a week, wow, bugger me, half an hour cloughy, I can spare longer than that. Yeah, but you don’t. I didn’t, but I do now. I’m going to schedule in. I got a gap. There’s my half hour. Oh, I can do it again on Thursday. See, here we go.


Now, what do you do in those small steps?


Maybe you go through that list of hypnosis tracks and go, actually, this one really helps deal with this imperfection in air quotes.


So, maybe you have a listen to that because in that hypnosis and.


You go to the associated longer podcast because they’re obviously linked, it will give you the skills, some processes, some thoughts, how to use this imperfection, to learn from it, even if you just, not even as you do that, as you can reflect in that time to reframe it. What is the positive intention? What is it trying to do for me.



Cluffy says working on loneliness has helped him become more creative


A little bit about that loneliness.


I was talking about. See, I got when I was looking to find my new why.


I don’t know why I called it a new why, because I’ve obviously got a why. Part of it is doing this.


Obviously, I say obviously. It’s obvious to me that I’m trying to share what I’ve learned with as.


Many people as I can.


Because if I can just help you, that’s me done. Done a good job.


But when I look back through my.


Life, all the things where I felt was my passion, my why, I did most of them by myself.


And then I looked at that and.


Said, well, that’s when you focus, Cluffy. That’s when you really get deep.


That’s when you start to get to.


Do the stuff that is creative. So I said to myself, that is a superpower.


When I want to do stuff which.


Is good, creative, selfless service, I’m going to do it because no one else can. I want to use my best friend so I’m not alone anymore because I’ve got a best friend inside.


And then I remembered what I write.


In my journal, every journal for I don’t know how many years a front page says, you’re never alone, you never by yourself. You’re always with yourself.


You’re with your best friend. So you can’t be bloody alone.


Cluffy, you dick. And I go, ah, that’s right. So this loneliness is two things. It’s allowing me to become creative because that’s when I function my best. But also I realize I need connection so I can work on that connection in a different context. So when I see my friends, I make an effort now to find connection with my, with me mates. Go and have a beer now, and we just sit and just talk about football or anything. A sucker. And it’s just being social.


But when I want to do the.


Stuff I want to do, I’m happy. Now that I’m not completely weird by doing things on my own. But as the things we’ve said before, you are uniquely weird. So am I.


So now, having worked on that loneliness.


Thinking, okay, I’m okay with it.


I’m no longer sad because I got.


Really sad when I told you about that day, a couple of days, I was really quite inside.


I didn’t show it too well because.


Again, you’re hiding this bloody stuff.


I wasn’t showing it up until I.


Sat down, scheduled some time, did a little bit of self hypnosis and found out the positive intention. And, I’m happy with that now, because now I know I can be this and that, not this or it’s. And so which one will you do now?


I know you don’t know at the.


Moment because you probably haven’t been scribbling out the mind maps as you do, but I do suggest if you do that, you will find something that, that you go, ah, that’s the one. Because when you think about all the things, all the isms, all the things.


It’S overwhelming when you find that one thing.


What if I just change that a little bit? That’ll flip. That will make a big difference.


And when you do it and you work on it, and then you look.


Back and you review, because we always schedule do. And then review, you look back and go, actually, that feeling’s gone. Oh, for me, as I say, you.


Know, that feeling is when, I’m happy to be creative in different ways and I’m also doing different things in different contexts now, things I wasn’t doing.


Weren’T doing, wasn’t doing. And it’s made such a difference. So changing one thing has now changed.


So many different things.


But I found the one thing, the one thing that would make a difference. And you can’t get it wrong because it will jump out at you. And also, once you look back and.


You may go, well, maybe once I’ve.


Done that, if there was one other thing that’s still there, if it’s still there, which other thing would I change? Because it’s going to be a moving target, as it were.



You might go, well, I can actually help. I can schedule the time


It’s a different map of the world. Now, we all live with our own maps of the world, but our map of the world is not the territory. It’s not reality. It’s our reality. So let’s change it.


Let’s acknowledge it. Shine a light on these buggers.


Learn and, change. Now you might go, and this is where I want to come in. This is where I want to help. You might go, well, I can actually.


See this thing about, you know, I’ve got the same as you cluffy or, you know, I’ve got this anxiety here.


Or do that or whatever, and I.


Don’T know what to do.


I don’t know what. I can schedule the time. Yeah, I can do that, but I don’t know what steps to take. I don’t know really which hypnosis track. So what do you do with that? Let me know. Let, me know by email me. I can’t. My words this morning. Email me at feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged. Um.com.



Do mind maps to help you change imperfections in your life


Which area, which con, you know, which area in your life would you like to change or what type of imperfection and, what context? That’s all I need, maybe. How would you like to be? They’re the three. What would you like to change? How has it affected you? May be and how would you like to be? And then we’ll do something. You’ll get a personal reply from me.


I can’t say it’s obvious, but.


You will, because that’s what I do. But you’ll see then, as we’ve done before, we have, I’ve had questions and a longer podcast comes from it, and it not only helps that person who’s asked a question, but it helps so many others because you can adapt the answers. That’s nearly, ah, that gives me.


The thing I can start working on.


And once you get the flow going.


Your unconscious mind goes, care, come on.


Let’S do it now. Now you want to learn.


I don’t need to keep hitting you.


With this bloody, anxiety, this fear now because you want to learn about it. And now we can move on because you’ve shown me the direction you want to go. You’ve shown me how you want to feel, because sometimes even just visualizing what you want to feel is enough. And, then m we can really be celebrating how open and honest we are. We can celebrate these little imperfections. In a way that means we’re celebrating. Because we’re celebrating. We’re going to change, going to make a big difference. You see, you can try to hide it.


This is my meta part of this.


You could try to hide this, push it down. Apparently, there’s a thing that blokes do. They push it down, keep it away. What happens keeps bubbling up, gets more intense because it’s wrong. It’s there for a reason. And as you let it come into the spotlight, then you can start learning. Because, you know, at the end of the day, this life is not what they call a bed of roses. There are great times when it is.


And there are times where maybe it.


Isn’T, but the times that it isn’t, we can learn from. And the times that it is, we can learn from. And how do I want you to feel now? I swore at this, and I’ll change it. He started with an f, but we’ll go, hell, yes. That’s how I want you to feel. Hell, yes. I can do this. I can be who I want to be. All I’ve got to do is do it. Follow. If you just follow these little steps, you’ll be doing the one thing that I think is the most important part of this. You will be making your own destiny, not your own reality. Well, you will be, but I thought.


When I was writing and making my little side notes, why is this so important?


Because you’re creating your own destiny. You’re realizing it is in your hands. You’re realizing that you are responsible for all of this. No other bugger. You are responsible. And that is brilliant, because that means you get to change it.


Because if you weren’t responsible, you’d have to wait for some other bugger to come and do it for you.


And they ain’t. They’re not going to do that. There you go.


Have a little thing.


Get those mind maps going, please. Even, just to, just to please.


Me, if that’s a word.


Just do the mind maps. Even if you do nothing else.


I know. Just by doing those mind maps, m it will.


Well, you’ll do the rest. You will.


Because you’ll realize when you go what.


One thing will change. All the good stuff from my imperfections. If I just change that one thing, you know, well, it’s got to be worth it, because it’s not only going.


To change one thing, it’s going to.


Change every bloody thing for the better.



Please share this, if you would. It’s like paying it forward in a good way


There you go. Please share this, if you would. Share, you know, do the.


My maps.


Share. Share what you’ve done.


You don’t have to show people all the bits and pieces, but the process.


Because that’s one of the things that if, when we do this, first of all, we learn. We learn how much we know, we.


Learn the little bits of maybe, oh, I don’t understand that myself now, now.


I’m trying to explain this to you.


And go back into it, and then.


You really get it and it’ll make.


A difference to you and it’ll make.


A difference of them, which makes a.


Difference to somebody else.


And you, the old thing, you will never know how far the ripples of.


Change will go, because not just in.


Your life, in everyone else’s life.




The change you want to see in yourself that will now affect everybody else, be infectious in wonderful change. So if you would, if you would share this, and I always ask, I don’t know if you ever do, I don’t know how many people, because I don’t get a record of this that much. How many of you have actually subscribed? Because I’m pouring my little heart out here. Yeah, I’m pouring my heart out here. If you could just subscribe, that would be awesome, because that just makes things.


Come up in front of other people.


And they go, maybe I’ll look at that. It’s got a lot of subscribers. Must be doing something. And we’ll all be doing something then. It’s like paying it forward in a good way. And it’s really the real act of.


Selfless service because you’re not going to.


Get anything in return for that. No one’s going to pay you to do it. But the law of, reciprocity, that lovely word reciprocation, comes back in dollops. Back to the dollops. Anyway, do have more fun than you can stand. And I’ll be back with another podcast and you’ll know about it because you’ll have subscribed by now. Have more fun than you can stand.


It’s time to fly.


And if you are new here, have.


A little listen to the after that.


Because I’ll explain all what the unplugged podcast is about.



Paul Clough hosts the personal development unplugged podcast


Okay, that’s me, Paul, hopefully a friend. Let’s get personal. Bye bye.


Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.


Personal development unplugged.


Hey, welcome. Welcome to the personal development unplugged.




So pleased you’re here. Your time is valuable and precious.


So what I would like to do.


Is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, neuro linguistic programming, all of that. Using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great. And then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams and get what you really want in life.


Anyway, who am I?


I’m Paul, Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes because we’re going to have so much fun.


That’s it.


We’re going to have fun for a.


Change because we can sit down for.


A spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation, the only limitation is your imagination. And you’ve got bucket loads, by the way.


Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must.