Your Growth Serves: Find Your Why, Build Confidence & Create Meaningful Impact

What if personal development wasn’t just about fixing yourself… but fulfilling something bigger?

In this deeper dive from the FMQ “The Big Why – Let’s Refresh”, we move beyond goals, habits and self-improvement — and into something far more powerful: Service through growth

Because when your “why” is only about you, motivation fades.
But when your growth begins to serve others, everything changes.

In this episode, you’ll experience a powerful process to help you:

Reconnect with your deeper purpose
See the ripple effect your growth creates
And step into a version of you that is aligned, motivated and meaningful

This isn’t about pushing yourself anymore…

It’s about being pulled by purpose.

What You’ll Discover

Why most people lose motivation in personal development
The real power behind discovering your true “why”
The shift from self-improvement → self-exploration → service
How your growth creates a ripple effect in every area of life
Why meaning and purpose fuel consistent motivation
How to move from “I have to” → “I get to”
Turning your life into a hero’s adventure, not a grind

The Processes Inside This Episode

🔹 Process 1 – The Ripple Effect Visualisation

Experience your future self growing into your ultimate vision
…and notice how that growth:

Transforms your confidence, relationships, and direction
Creates a ripple effect into the lives of others
Installs the belief:

“My growth serves”

Process 2 – Clarity Through Reflection

Simple but powerful questions to anchor your growth:

What do I need to let go of?
What do I need to learn?
Who am I becoming?
How will this benefit others?

This is where insight turns into real change

Key Takeaway

Personal development isn’t something you have to do.

It’s something you get to experience.

And when your growth becomes about more than just you…

You stop pushing
You start being pulled
And life becomes an adventure full of meaning

Core Message

“My growth serves.”

Say it.
Feel it.
Live it.

Because when you grow:

You change your life
You change the people around you
You contribute to something bigger than you

And that’s where true motivation lives.

Questions To Reflect On

Don’t just listen — use this.

What am I ready to let go of?
What do I need to learn next?
Who am I becoming?
What impact will my growth have on others?

And most importantly:

What’s my real “why”… now?

Topics Explored in This Episode

finding your why
personal development motivation
purpose and meaning in life
self growth and transformation
confidence and identity change
mindset and success psychology
overcoming procrastination
personal development tools and techniques
creating purpose-driven success
self improvement vs self exploration

Final Thought

What would it be like…

To walk through today
And suddenly feel happy… for no reason?

Maybe your unconscious mind is already working on that.

And Finally please share this episode

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/478-the-big-why-the-ripple-effect-of-personal-development

Or the video of the whole thing https://youtu.be/HUEkr6cYtK4

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you’ve enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

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Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I’m a therapist, but I’m not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you’re operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you’re unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

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Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay,
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Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay,
Music by freegroove from Pixabay,
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Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism

#478 The Big Why – The Ripple effect Of Personal Development

So you’re back for this deeper dive. And the big why, the big why the ripple effect of personal development is what people don’t tell you. And when it works, and it does work, it affects all areas of your life.

So that’s why I love promoting and being part of personal development. And that’s why I do personal development unplugged. You see, the question you need to ask yourself about being involved in trying to develop yourself being the best version of yourself, why are you bloody doing it? What is your why? And maybe you think, well, it’s therapy.

Because I’ve got an ism, or I’ve got like anxiety. I’ve got an inferiority complex, you know, I shouldn’t be here. I got those limiting beliefs of I’m not good enough.

I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve this. I think I’m invisible.

That’s one that comes up a lot. I’m invisible, stay hidden. And they’re all perfectly good reasons.

And they’re not excuses this time. They’re reasons for you to develop yourself, to be able to let them go, find the tools within personal development, and change the way you feel. Because you’re not entitled, you must have a life feeling the way you want to feel.

You know, it’s your choice. Your choice, nobody else’s. So you can do that.

I mean, if you were to get really curious, maybe you’d think, yeah, it’s therapy, but I really just want to get really confident. And the thing is, no one can give you confidence because you have confidence inside you. Let’s think about that for a moment.

I’ve got the confidence inside me. Well, where the hell is it, Cluffy? Well, it comes from competence. And we’re going to talk about that shortly.

But you don’t want to be overconfident, do you? Because that’s where you create issues in your life. And sometimes overconfidence is a way of trying to get those negative beliefs reinforced. I knew I couldn’t do it.

I’m a failure, which is so, well, it’s false. It really is. So let’s just think for a little while, think of all the things you’d like to change.

Because that’s part of personal development. But there’s other things. Let me tell you a little story.

Because we like a story before we get into the deep stuff. And this is the thing about the ripples. Lovely young lady come to see me a few years ago now.

And she said, well, I’ve got this phobia of loud noises. And I’m thinking, that’s interesting. We live in a life, the neighborhood where we live is really quiet.

So I said, where’d you get these loud noises? I want to know, because I don’t hear them. And she said, well, they’re all over the place. Where we live in the summer, there’s a fireworks display every Saturday night for all the tourists.

And they frighten the life out of me. Oh, I’ve heard those. But they’re not that loud.

But if they affect you, they do. And she says, if you think about it, most parties now have some type of firework display. They always have some bangers or things.

And in fact, people will make and buy fireworks just to let them off in the street. Yeah, I’ve heard that too. And it’s terrible.

I can’t go out. I can’t go to a party just in case. I can’t go out on a Saturday night because of that firework display.

And it’s really, really ruining, you know, what I should have. I’m a young girl, I should be able to enjoy myself. And you’re dead right.

She was dead right. So we did some work. And then she phoned me up because I said, you know, you got to test this stuff.

There’s no good doing the work and then not testing because we’ve got to see that it works. Maybe you have to tweak a little bit. And she phoned back and said, I went to a birthday party over the weekend.

And there was lots of fireworks. They actually had a firework display. They brought one in and I was very nervous, Paul.

But then there was nothing. In fact, I watched and I was really interested and curious. I hadn’t seen it because they’re always hidden, but they were beautiful.

Yeah, the loud noises did give me a little bit. But that’s what loud noises do to everybody, isn’t it? But she said, here’s the weird thing. And it wasn’t weird to me, by the way.

But when you get this, the ripples, she said at work, things have changed. I’m so confident in myself. I speak up.

I share my opinions. I never used to do that. I always hid.

But now when I go out socialising, I’m confident in myself. It made such a difference to my life. I didn’t realise how this affected me, but I’m so pleased.

And that’s what it is. It’s the ripples of change. You never know how far they go.

And you never know in which direction. But when you do change one thing in your life, and you get a little bit more confident there, you get more confident over there. And it’s proper confidence, confidence in your competence.

And in this episode and episodes to follow, we’re going to find your why, the real why. Because when you know the real why, you’ll be pulled, you’ll be motivated. And that’s real.

You can’t stop yourself then. Because you just want to do these things. And then you will be striving to be the best version of yourself.

Internal conflict gets resolved. We’ll do a little bit today, we’ll do it. And if you notice, we’ve been doing this on every longer podcast now, resolving conflicts.

So go backwards and forwards through the catalogue. Come with me. And when you find that why, we’ll be installing like a motivational alignment, you’ll be aligned.

So you won’t have the negative beliefs trying to stop you doing things because it’s safer doing the things you want to do when we do it in the right way. When we’ve got access to the right tools, resources, your unconscious mind comes with us and says, this is safer, I don’t need all that negative stuff, we’ve learned from it. That’s where the alignment comes in, conscious and unconscious alignment, learnings.

And that’s where you find growth. And then we’ll just explore this ripple effect. Because when you start to notice where you find all the different things that are changing your life that you didn’t realise, then you go, wow, do you know what, I can do whatever I like.

As long as it’s ecological, you know, good for me, good for the people around me and good for little old planet Earth. That’s when I’m really going to be my best version. A little bit of selfless service in there, doing things for others, because that’s the way, that’s what happens when you really start to change with personal development.

But let’s have a little think, this confidence and competence. I’m very much into competence. Because when you’re competent in an area of your life, you will be confident in yourself there, because you just know.

It’s when you’re not competent, and you’re just confident you can do something. You know, I could be confident, I could fly a plane, I would not come with me by the way, because I’ve never flown a plane. But I’m just confident.

But if you’re competent, and you learn things, you build upon them. Again, the ripple effect, you start learning things, because you see things in a different way. And you have curiosity.

I love curiosity, because that feeds the learnings and the learning state within us. And when we learn, we grow, we strive to be the best version of ourselves. And when we do that, you know, just having confidence alone, by the way, is delusional, a delusion.

Because it’s nothing, it’s not based on anything at all. So we don’t want confidence, we want inner confidence. I have a programme called Supreme Inner Confidence, being confident in yourself.

I’m not selling that. Well, I am selling it, but I’m not pushing it now. Have a look at paulcloughonline.com if you want to have a little look.

There’s a 30 day money back guarantee, and it only takes two weeks or 14 days, so you got plenty of time, send it back, I don’t care. But it’ll make a difference. But you see, when you have that confidence, it builds confidence inside you.

And that allows you to stretch. And when you stretch, you grow. And when you stretch, you grow, and the ripples keep changing.

They change you, they change different areas of your life. And they also change the people around you. And that growth, I guess, sometimes triggers resistance.

It’s a little scary, isn’t it? But when we just push a little bit, just beyond our comfort zone, our familiar zone, we tend to find it wasn’t that scary. We’d be putting up an invisible barrier. And now we don’t need to.

Because that resistance is purely an unconscious way of protecting you. Your unconscious mind saying, whoa, this might be scary. But if we can show each time that we stretch ourselves with safety, with resources, such as hypnosis, such as the processes of NLP that we do here, your unconscious mind can get the resources it needs to be able to use them to say, to keep you safe and grow.

Yeah. And so if you think about it, if resistance isn’t the enemy anymore, what is it protecting? Because there’s no need to protect anything at all. Think of this for a moment.

Think of this for a moment. If you were to identify a goal, something you want, you know, if you got that goal, what might you lose if you succeed? How can I lose something? You might say, how can I lose anything if I succeed? Well, think of this. You would leave, yeah, you’d leave it behind, but you’d lose that anxiety you had about it, that fear you had about it.

You’d lose that, I don’t deserve to be here belief. You’d lose, I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough belief.

Because you’re succeeding. And if the goal’s an appropriate goal, and supported by your unconscious mind, and you do it in wonderful ways with the processes here at Personal Development Unplugged and the hypnosis here, you’re just going to get better and better. And you can ask yourself, then what value is this protecting? Because if I lose things like anxiety and fear, because I’m more competent, I’m safer, because anxiety keeps you safe in a way, but it makes you feel so bloody terrible, you’re not safe.

So there’s that clash, that complete clash, conflict, we need to find a better way. That’s what we do here. So we find a higher value.

What do you really want? And why is comebacks to the why? Why do you want it? Because we find a safer way, a safer value. And we can imagine it, visualise it, and then get comfortable with it. And when we’re comfortable, we notice that we’re working towards something, not coming away.

And when you’re working towards something which is really good, and is aligned with your values, aligned with your goals, aligned with your safety, it’s a lovely gentle stretch. Yeah. So here’s the thing, what we want to do is begin to align the future, the future with the way you want to be, with your self image, that self image that you have, the real you.

So think of this for the moment. Maybe, I don’t know if you want to close your eyes or not. But maybe you just begin to think, what would it be like if you brought a goal to mind? And notice that the feeling you would have getting it and got it would be that feeling of success.

Not the overconfidence, because you’ll have got there and feel how competent you feel. Because you’ve learned along the way, you’ve had to stretch yourself. But when your unconscious mind is protecting you, that goal becomes congruent with the ultimate vision of yourself, that real you.

And when you’re the real you, and you have access to all your learnings, all your experiences, that’s when you can truly grow. And you can let go of emotions, negative emotions, limiting belief, but we do the work as well. We find processes to learn from those isms as they were.

And when we learn from them, we can then use the learnings to achieve those goals, to stretch and get them. And when we can visualise that, see yourself successfully completing something that in the past you were a little bit hesitant. Notice when you get there, what new opportunities, feel like.

Notice how it feels like you’re being pulled towards a new goal, more opportunities to allow you to grow. What would that feel like? And maybe notice, just be aware of different areas of your life now changing too. Confidence is spreading, the learnings, the skill sets, your skills stacking, and being able to use different skills or skills in different areas of your life.

Maybe you feel comfortable talking at work, and now you feel comfortable talking socially, expressing your ideas. Yeah. And that’s just a small thing, a small thing.

We can think about that. Because again, I want you to just realise the difference, the difference of having either overconfidence or maybe not really knowing your why, but knowing there’s a why there, the why to develop yourself, personal development, and making it unplugged as it were. And we’re slowly exploring this in a very light way.

And we can do it, and I think I will, do this in a deeper hypnotic style. So we can align your why and resolving in a conflict. What would that be like? Yeah.

Now, now think about it for the moment. Think. Let’s think about the bigger picture.

You see, most people think of personal development being a bit selfish, because all you’re doing is working on yourself. But the thing is, if you’ve seen somebody who is anxious, nervous, you feel it, don’t you? You feel it yourself. You feel anxious yourself.

If someone’s very negative all the time, maybe depressed, they bring you down, don’t they? Whereas when you can, say, regulate your emotions, because negative emotions will always be there. But now we have the tools to deal with them or learn from them. And we’re feeling, say, grounded.

We’re feeling our true self. It makes others feel safe too. You become the change you want to see in others.

So it’s the most unselfish thing to do, to work on yourself. And you see, when you get that inner competence and inner confidence, and you behave in that way, other people get confident with you. You bring them along.

No longer is that tall poppy syndrome where they try to cut you down. You bring them along with you. And you see, when they see you stretch, striving to be a better version, giving selfless service, it’s as if you’re giving permission to the people around you to say, this is good, this is okay.

And you’re not doing it for ego now. No ego here. And where does that ripple effect go when you’re that way? Let’s think about it.

When you’re more confident in yourself, and you’re feeling good about yourself, genuinely aligned with your goals, you have goals that you’re striving for, you’re achieving, what happens to your family dynamics? How you connect, how you share in your family. And these don’t have to be just family members. These are people who act like family members too.

Think of it at work, how your stature changes, your words change because of your inner confidence. Because you’re growing, you’re moving on, moving up. You’re showing the world who you really are.

You’re not hiding, you’re not invisible anymore. You want to share. And you also know your boundaries, because you’re not overconfident.

You ask questions. You show that you want to learn because you’re curious. And when you’re like that, socialising becomes a dream.

And everyone needs to socialise. We need friends, we need people to discuss, we need people to challenge us in a good way. Think about that now.

And maybe how you approach people you don’t know, friends yet to come. Because instead of shrinking away, maybe at a gathering or something, you shrink away from them. What happens now? You’re confident to discuss things, to share things, maybe a story or two, maybe to ask really good questions.

Because you become interested in people now, because you can. And when you’re interested in people, you become interesting to them. And then you find new friends, new circles.

You see, that why we’re talking about, that why, is not just for you, is it? It’s not just about you now, when you see this, it affects not only you but the people around you. Isn’t that brilliant? So here’s the thing, here’s again what I want you to do, another process, sort of, again a visualisation, a visualisation. Because I want you to begin to look at your identity differently.

It’s not just self-improvement now, self-development, it’s growth and your service through growth. Say that again, it’s not just service but service through growth, your growth. So close your eyes for a moment, if it’s okay, if it’s okay and you’ll be undisturbed, if not pause, come back to me when you’re ready.

But find a place where you can close your eyes, just take the distractions away, where you’ll be undisturbed just for a few moments. Not going to be long, but I want you just to see yourself over there, see yourself over there, beginning to grow, grow as not just a person but to grow into your real self, growing towards that ultimate vision of yourself, the real you. Not the old you, because the old you had all those isms, the issues, the limiting beliefs, but growing towards the ultimate vision of yourself with all those wonderful supporting beliefs, positive beliefs, behaviours and emotions, where you’re showing others the possibilities and exploring them yourself.

And as you see yourself growing in that way, notice the immediate changes in yourself, the benefits that you have, because you’re aligned, congruent, learning, stretching, getting fitter in mind, body and spirit. Now begin to notice a moment, if you could see time and space around you, that ultimate vision of you. Notice as you bring your awareness wider and wider, begin to notice that ripple effect, how things are changing in not only your life, in those different areas of life, using your mind, body, spirit, your mental capacity, your stature, the way you hold yourself and hold yourself to your values.

Notice ripples coming away from the ultimate vision of you, the way you’re working towards, and notice how they’re changing, different areas of your life, because you can imagine that now, imagine how your career is changing, how your relationships are changing, those real personal relationships and the general social relationships, how life becomes more comfortable and is that foundation that you can push away from again, to grow even more, to affect even more. And maybe you can begin to see, feel and believe, my growth serves, that’s it, my growth serves, it serves you, it serves others around you, it serves little old planet earth, because in this service, you’re activating your contribution to the world, and that’s in so many different forms, your life has now meaning, has meaning and purpose, you’re finding your passions and your passions fueling your purpose, and your meaning fueling your passion. Life now has true meaning, and because of that, your motivation is always there, because you’re now being pulled by having these wonderful values and living to them, understanding them.

And the thing is, without having the goal of leaving a legacy, that’s what you’re doing, you’re making your mark on this little old planet earth, the people around you, in your neighborhood, maybe bigger than that, maybe it’s just at home, it doesn’t matter, you are making a difference, and it’s a difference that becomes a difference, just let that sink in just for a little longer, that contribution, the meaning, the motivation, the values, leaving a natural legacy, because you are who you are, my growth serves, that’s it, no more. And then with a wonderful deep breath, you can open your eyes, and we’re back, isn’t that good? You see, when we have that, and by the way, I’m even thinking about doing that as a hypnosis track, so we’ll have two out of this, and you can come back to it and regenerate it if you need to, you know, reignite the energy within you, just to remind and remember. But we’re moving now, you see, we’re moving when we have this personal development, and we have it as a thing to do, because it’s us.

Remember, my growth serves, and we’re growing, it’s now pulling, as opposed to being pushed, what other people think we should do. People tell you what you ought to do, or tell you what you shouldn’t do. No, this is us, moving towards what we want, and we know what we want is good for us, good for others, and good for little old planet Earth.

Instead of, I have to, we go to, I want to, I have a desire, I want to do this, I get to do this, and it’s no longer an obligation, is it? And it comes back to what I say, it’s not the journey, it’s an adventure, every part of it, it’s that hero’s journey becomes hero’s adventure. Yeah, you’ll come across a few things, but you’ll be able to find the resources, processes, you’ll find people, mentors, opportunities, and instead of calling it personal improvement, maybe we’ll call it personal exploration. That’s different, isn’t it? So, I want to support you, I want to help pull you, I want to pull you up to your highest level, support you in your dreams, find anything I can to help you get to where you want to be, and then realise you can go even further, bigger, better, help you deal with the people who are going to throw stones at you, metaphorically that is, pull you back because they don’t want to be left behind, but they’re going to show them what’s possible, you’re going to bring them along, you’re going to pull them along by doing what you do, and doing and being who you are, and you know, it’s all about making this serious, but serious fun, have fun doing this bloody stuff, it’s no bloody good just getting so deep and serious, no, let’s enjoy the work.

I can remember times when I used to go to my early NLP practitioner lessons, you know, lectures and things like that to become a practitioner of NLP, and there were people there who were so bloody serious, they had to read everything, they were bloody boring, and they didn’t do anything with it, they just kept getting too serious, get into curiosity, have some fun, and create this adventure, the adventure of you, we talked about writing your book, this is you writing the chapters of the future, and living them, now when you look back and you go, whoa, I’ve got all these people I want to dedicate this book to, my life to, for helping me, and I’ve also got wonderful memories of how I served. So here’s the thing, I’ve got a couple of questions for you before we go. What did this bring up? What are you letting go of? What do you think you need to let go of? And if you can, write these buggers down, dictate them on your phone, do something, I don’t want you to lose this, I want you to remember it.

So what are you, what are you letting go of? What do you need to let go of? What would you like to learn in order to get to where you want to be? What would you need to learn? Do you need to let go of something? What do we need to learn to get new stuff? Who are you becoming? Who do you want to become? And when you put that all together, when you’ve let go of what you don’t want, and when you’ve learned what you need to learn, and that’ll be constant, not constant, it’ll be, it’ll carry on forever. But when you really start living the life and becoming who you really are, who and what will that benefit? What will the benefits be? You see, when you change, you don’t just change you, do you? No, you change the field around you, the energy field, the essence and energy of you just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading. So as you think about that, what do you need? What do you need that’s important for you to go on this wonderful adventure of creating the real you, the you you’re meant to be? You see, when you’ve written that down, I’d love to know what they are.

So I can help you find the resources you need, either resources in you, or the learnings that I can share with you, so you can grow. As I said, to support you in your dreams and goals and desires, to make sure you get them bigger, better, brighter and quicker. So you can do even more.

You see, email me those feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. And then we’ll really know where we’re going to focus our attention on. So you get what you need to get. And remember, this isn’t something that you have to do, but the questions are.

It isn’t what you have to do. It’s what you get to do. You get to experience all of this and enjoy it.

Because we’re going to make it fun. Fun adventure. So yeah, you do have to send those email to me with what you’re letting go of, what you want to learn.

I want to know where you want to be, who you want to be and what you want to do. And when you do that, just it’s like the emotions you want to experience. And how will you benefit? How will it change you? What will those effects you think will be? You know, that energy field around you.

There you go. Hopefully you really enjoyed that. I hope you do.

I enjoyed rabbiting away like this, because that’s where we’re going on the longer podcast. I’ll be saying C’s in the five minute quickie about these subjects. So keep your ears and eyes open.

And to do that, what do you do? You subscribe, press that subscribe button, or follow button or whatever it is. So you get these every bloomin week. Because everyone I think will have a golden nugget in for you.

Maybe not 100%. But there’ll be things you’ll either take on, or they’ll go in for another day. Or it’ll just be, ah, that’s reminded me of what I already know, but I’m not maybe using.

I’m going to use it now. That’s what it’s all about. Lots to think about there, isn’t it? Lots to think about who you’re going to be and how your world will change.

And that’s the bit that said no one tells you. They don’t give you the hows. Most people don’t.

They don’t give you the hows. They just talk. And we’re going to walk the walk.

Okay. So until next time, my friend, I’m your friend, Paul. And we’ll get it together on the longer podcast and the five minute quickies which last 10 minutes now.

And we’ll have loads of hypnosis and processes to add to everything we do. So have more fun than you can stand and write those bloody things down and send them to me. Okay, I’ll see you next time.

Have fun doing all of this. And just think, what would it be like if you were to wander around today, and suddenly, and suddenly, feel happy for no reason? Oh, I wonder if your unconscious mind would do that for you now, or later, or sometime, but just do it today.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.

#478 The Big Why – The Ripple effect Of Personal Development