What Are You Leaving Room For?
What if your obsession with managing time is actually stopping you from living your life?
For years I thought every bit of my time had to be useful. Productive. Accounted for. If I looked back at the day and couldn’t point to what I’d achieved, I’d feel bloody guilty.
Time blocking, priorities, goals, productivity systems… I’ve tried the lot.
And they all have their place.
But eventually I realised I wasn’t really trying to manage my time.
I was trying to work out how to design my life.
Because here’s the thing: if every minute of your week already has a job, where does something new get in?
Where does curiosity fit? Creativity? Learning? Walking. Thinking. An unexpected idea. A new opportunity. Or simply doing something because it enriches your life?
In this deeper dive, I explore what happens when we stop trying to fill every available space and deliberately leave some room.
Not empty time.
Potential.
It’s part of what I’m discovering through my North Star work: protecting what matters while remaining open to what I haven’t discovered yet.
Maybe you don’t need to manage every minute.
Maybe you need to ask a better question:
What are you leaving room for?
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Paul
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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism
#492 What Are You Leaving Room For?
Hey friend, welcome to the deeper dive of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast.
Let’s get started. I think I’ve had it for such a long time in my life. It is a question.
In fact, it’s been more than a question. It’s caused me anxiety. It’s an anxiety, a fear, as it were, about wasting time.
I have this thing, I have to spend time wisely, productively, all the time. Every bit of time has to be allocated. Well, that’s what I used to think.
And it gave me real shit when I used to look back at the day or forward to the day and if I felt I just wasted any moment of time. Do you ever get that? You feel what a wasted day. Time’s finite isn’t it? It’s the only thing that in some ways you can’t, you can spend it but you can’t really save it.
You have to be there. You see time as I say can’t be spent, can’t be saved rather. You could ask your question, did I spend it? Well today.
But the other thing is you can maybe just look back and wonder what I actually achieved and I used to really, used to cripple me. And I’ve done so many things, so many things and I bet you have too. You’ve probably had lots of different processes of time management etc.
Here’s the ones that I tried. You see I did a long time ago with Tony Robbins, I did OPA. Knowing your outcome, what’s the purpose of that outcome and then doing action.
It’s all about taking action and an action is great. Especially when you decide what to do. I did time blocking and I used to try to block out every bit of time, the whole day.
I still use time blocking but I use it differently now. I used to think what’s urgent versus important because I know the difference. Intellectually I knew we get stuck in the urgent stuff and we really need to just do the important stuff but we get lost in all of this trying to spend time wisely, productively and not wasting it.
Following intuition. That’s good but with that other stuff it just didn’t work out for me. You see there, I’m sure there’s other stuff I use as well but they’re all useful.
But not one of them really quite solved my underlying dissatisfaction of what I’ve done and also stopped the anxiety. The anxiety and fear of just wasting this time I have on planet Earth. And then there was the funny and stupid things are and yes there are funny and stupid things will happen.
Have you ever had this? You’re doing something. You’re doing something really important or you’re going to. You got it blocked out but before you start you really have to tidy your desk up.
You have to get everything pristine. Get those pencils and rubbers and pens all in their places. And does that make bloody sense? It looks like and feels like we’re being productive but that’s an avoidance isn’t it? It doesn’t make bloody sense at all.
Yet with this fear of losing time, wasting time, I still would try to avoid. And I don’t know why. Well I don’t know and I don’t need to know why.
That’s the whole thing. Because why you might find excuses. You might find limiting beliefs.
But I had, if you’ve ever heard the expression, the penny just dropped. Maybe like an aha moment I guess. It was a thought I had sitting quietly.
Maybe maybe time management isn’t solving the wrong problem. You see I wasn’t trying to organize my hours. I thought I was.
But I was actually trying to work out how to organize my life. Well that’s a big one isn’t it? Organize your life. You see I struggled with questions like what does it actually mean to spend time well? Because I had in my mind initially it had to be productive.
I had to be doing things. So what does it actually mean to spend time well? Does that resonate? Here’s another one that might just get you. And it got me because I couldn’t.
Who decides what’s worth your time? Yeah because there’s pressures isn’t there? There’s also pressures from peer pressure, the media, what you should be doing. So much going on in your head can can put that pressure on. So who really decides what’s worth your time? We know the answer.
You know the real answer. But sometimes it’s fudged isn’t it? And then the other thing you can ask yourself maybe this is a question I’ve struggled with. Can a perfectly organized day still be a badly spent day? Because you see this is what happened.
I spent years trying to organize my time. What I really needed was to organize my life because I would have a perfectly organized day and still feel I’d missed the point. I would have missed the point.
Meaningful, oh that was a big one, meaningful. You see what I discovered. You see it landed, it landed in this bloody noggin of mine.
There really is a distinction, a distinction in this time thing in my head. You see there is a There’s a time that needs scheduling, that’s without doubt, so I’m not throwing everything out because that would be silly, wouldn’t it? There’s a time that needs scheduling, things like appointments, commitments, deadlines, things involving other people. They may be each one of those above, but things that really involve other people.
So you have to be there for them. And things that you’re going to do that have a definite duration, because you don’t want them to just keep going on and on. So you say this is going to take this long, but what was the distinction, Paul? I’ve got that bit, the things that really need scheduling, but there’s time that shouldn’t necessarily have a predetermined outcome.
What? Let’s say that again, clearly, there is a time that shouldn’t necessarily have a predetermined outcome. Now, what times are they? And this is what I found in my search, a little bit I call my North Star, how I got some foundations to that. There’s times that don’t have a predetermined outcome such as thinking, thinking time, reflection, time just to reflect, considering, these are all, you know, they’re not quite the same, but they’re, you know, you might be considering an outcome, you might be thinking about something different, you might be reflecting on what’s just gone by.
And there’s exploring, just exploring options. Maybe there’s a bit of creativity, you want to create something. So you need time for creating creation.
Then I thought to myself, what about that time for learning, sitting down and just learning something new to get this noggin of mine really, well, trying to fire it, get those neural pathways to far and wide together. Maybe if I had through all of that ideas, I could then follow an idea through a little bit, which ultimately all lent its way to discovering something new, opportunities that haven’t appeared yet. Yeah, does that make sense? You see, I had an idea that not all time now has the same job.
That’s what I had at the beginning. It had to be productive, it had to be meaningful, it had to be everything all the time. It had to be set down in stone.
But now in my head, not all time needs the same job. It’s not all black and white. It’s not by this, by then.
This takes an hour. This is my next task. This is the next task, and the next, and the next, and the next.
Because when you only focus on that way, I found, I asked myself a question, well, what am I squeezing out? What’s getting left out? And this is where the juice is, the return on investment. It’s like finding your direction, allowing opportunities to come in. It was time for curiosity, as I said, curiosity, reflection, creativity, to let unexpected opportunities ease their way into my life.
Because I wasn’t giving myself time to notice them. And what a valuable piece of time that would be, wouldn’t it? You would look back at the end of the day and go, shit, what a wonderful day that is. I did this and this because I had to do them.
And then I found something. I’ve learned something. This opportunity, this idea came to fruition.
And it’s like, you’re giving yourself space, space in which something might emerge. You don’t know what it is. We’ve had things like, how the hell did I get here on a longer podcast? But we don’t know what it is, but we’re leaving time for that creation.
Something might just emerge. Now, here’s some examples of how I try to let those things emerge. As you know, I’m a great, well, I shout from the rooftops, puzzle books.
It’s just a journal that you can, not just for journaling. I like to have a separate journal, but journaling, it’s an ideas book. It’s a thinking book.
It’s a puzzle book. I call it a puzzle book because I have this thing in my head. I want to puzzle out.
Maybe sometimes when I’m thinking of ideas for this podcast, things just suddenly happen. When I’m doing my art, I call it art, but it’s drawing. I do a little bit of sketching.
It’s like being able to come away from the world and free your mind up. Time spent learning, just reading and talking. That’s how I find things.
One of my biggest ones is just going for a walk. And thinking. Because when I’m walking in a little bit of nature, it just comes out.
Something comes to me. I set my intention sometimes. I wonder what I’m going to find, learn.
Something new will come along in this walk. And what I found recently, just this thing about, you know, going into feelings and asking questions about your feelings. Yes, I used to do that when they happened.
But sometimes I now give time to think about that. See, something I’m working on now that was never in my horizon. I didn’t schedule it.
I didn’t think this is a job to be done. But I have this process I’ve been developing over a couple of years, working with clients and realising this is a process like no other. So I’ve developed it into a full recording so people could be able to use it for themselves, but also as a training, training to help other therapists learn this process.
But that came out of this time, looking for a direction. You see, here’s a question. And sometimes this type of question might get into what’s important.
Or maybe just allow you maybe 10 minutes of madness to notice what comes up. And I call it 10 minutes of madness. We’ve talked about it before, but it’s just giving yourself 10 minutes to write down whatever comes to mind without editing.
What would you like to do? What would you like to experience? And just write down. But here’s the question. Because this is what will allow you, I think, the gateway, opening the door to finding this new thing.
And the question is, if every bit of my week already has a purpose assigned to it, where does something new get in? Where does it come from? Because if everything is assigned, damn, it’s done. And what I think is, you, and certainly me, we’re not intelligent enough to know. But when we open ourselves up, give ourselves time, you don’t know what you know.
That’s weird, isn’t it? Because then you are intelligent enough if you go allow these times for ideas to come, thoughts to come, curiosity, learning. So just ask that question again. If every bit of my week is already has a purpose assigned to it, where does something new come from? See, we could look at our week differently.
I think so. Let’s just look at the week. And this is not time management, not a productivity system.
I just want you to look at the work. Look at your diary. Because we tend to have a diary or, yeah, diary in our mind, most people have a diary right now, you know, what’s already been committed? And identify in your diary, which are those things that are, they’re there, they are cast in stone as such, they’re appointments, aren’t they? Maybe it’s a responsibility.
I have to go here to do this. I have to do that for something else. Maybe there’s a fixed activity.
I go to my yoga, I go to the gym. These are all things that generally need a time allocation. They need that slot.
They need time blocking, maybe. They need that OPA, knowing your outcome, your purpose, and then what action you’re going to take, how long it’s going to take. Because they’re all for a reason.
Don’t change these. I’m not suggesting change those because they’re the important things, not the urgent things, they’re the important things. But look at everything else.
We’ve taken those important things. Look at the other things you put in your diary and just ask yourself, why have I put this here? Is this something productive or is it a should? An external should. Is it that peer pressure? Oh, I’ve got to be doing this and we’ve all got to be doing that, you know, because I’ve read about it, I’ve seen it, you know.
Why have I put this here? Really question the intention, the reason. And you ask yourself, you know, is this really productive? Is it really important? Is it something I think I should do? We’re just recapping a little bit, I guess. Is it just a bloody habit? I’ve done that before.
Oh, I always do this. I always, always, always. And there’s no thought in it.
Or a little bit like clearing your desk. Is it avoidance? Disguises productivity. That’s what I used to do.
Find everything else to do. I put these things down. I’ve got to do this first.
Got to do that first. So take like a physical pause, I guess. And look in there and say, where are the gaps? Don’t fill them in.
Look for the gaps. You’ve maybe cleared out stuff from your diary and you’ve got gaps now. And if you haven’t got gaps, could I leave some space open in my diary, in my day? Not, oh, here’s two till three.
I just want space. Because we’re not allocating. This is my thinking time.
This is my reading time. But I want time for walking somewhere. Maybe, where are the gaps that I can just drop into? And when you find those gaps, and this is the magic, when that space arrives, it will arrive when you start thinking this way.
The possibilities just come out. Now, ask yourself, what is asking for my attention? Is it something I’ve been thinking about? Because when you give yourself this space, and you ask, you know, what wants to be expressed? What wants my attention? It could be something you’ve been thinking about for ages and ages, ages and ages. And it just comes to your mind.
Maybe there was that idea that you had. And now you’re giving it space to grow. But once you get curious, just time for curiosity, which gives that little bit of time for creating.
Maybe is a space for reading, space for going for a bloody walk, to explore somewhere. Maybe I can have a lovely walk down the top of the clifftop where I live. Just head into this little walkway with just loads of trees, and it’s just a lovely different change.
And my mind suddenly becomes open. Maybe you want to explore something, something new. Maybe is there time just to help somebody? That’s a lovely one, isn’t it? Selfless service.
I’ve got some time spared. I’ve just noticed I’ve got some time spared. Who can I help? Or, and here’s the wonderful thing, treat yourself in doing something purely because it enriches your life.
You see, you don’t have to make it happen. You don’t have to make any of this happen. Because it isn’t about, did I use this time productively? Did I use this hour productively? It’s what became possible because I left space.
And that was the biggest thing for me, just leaving space. I wasn’t guilty about it now because I knew it was so rich in its rewards. This is where the magic happens.
This is where intuition, those aha moments come. This is where bloody synchronicity and opportunity suddenly find their way to you. I don’t know what it is, whether it’s because you get so involved, your emotion gets to the point that your unconscious mind starts to notice the opportunities which were already there, like the reticulating activating system.
Your mind actually just looks for what you’re thinking about. And now you’ve given your time to think about these things. Or maybe it’s the law of attraction, you’ve got this frequency.
Who knows? Doesn’t matter, does it? Because something happens because of the space you left. So what’s happened? You see, we’ve gone, I think, from, well, I did anyway, managing my time. And then I thought, well, maybe I’m now going to organising my life.
That’s a big difference because it means, you know, I’m deciding what matters to me. And when I decide that and choose that, I’m protecting what matters. And leaving room for what I haven’t discovered yet.
So just leaving that space, the gold at the end of the rainbow, that’s why I say that little pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is there for you to take. And you see, that’s, maybe you see my train of thought now. I’ve shared with you my learning experiences over time.
From even last time, how the hell did I get here? And now we’re into, now I’m here. How do I want to live? Maybe the thought is, I can’t control everything and what happens next, because you can’t. But I can influence the conditions in which the next bit of my life unfolds.
What a lovely thought that is, unfolding of the things that are happening around you. That create a rich life for you. And I think it’s somehow we find our path, our passions, because we’re giving time to allow them to bubble up into our conscious awareness.
Because you don’t know that you know, but your unconscious mind knows. And as we give it space, magic happens. And it’s not magic, magic, but it’s magical.
All the things I’m, you see, one thing it gives me now, because of the things I’ve thought about now, when I give myself space, I just got this feeling inside, something new is going to happen. I’m going to find something that’s really going to interest me. I’m going to find something that gives me, you know, pure joy.
And I’m not going out to find pure joy. I’m just giving space. This joy is the experience of doing the things, or what you experience having done those things or doing those things.
But I’m allowing space to allow those things to come into my horizon. Because before they weren’t, they weren’t on my horizon. And I’m now welcoming them in.
I hope that made sense. I always say that, but it makes sense in my old head here. And it’s great for me to get it out of my head, get it out on paper, and also out to you.
Because it helps me learn about what I’ve learned. And this is what happens when we, when we share our adventures, share what we’ve learned. We either understand it that much more deeply, or we find gaps in our understanding.
And we know then we’ll give a space to think, to learn, get that puzzle book out again, and find those little gaps, which will just allow things to explode into joy and happiness. So if you like this type of sharing, I’d love to know if there’s something that’s holding you back from sharing, or not from sharing. If there’s something holding you back, well, maybe from sharing too, but holding you back from fully immersing yourself in this way.
Maybe you’ve got, I’ve got some limiting beliefs that go in my mind, telling me I’m not good enough. I’m, you know, who am I to think I can do this? If it’s going to be perfect, then that’s a downer. This is not perfect.
This is just allowing space. But if you do have those types of things, maybe there’s a negative emotion, maybe past trauma, then send me an email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. And I’ll see if I can either direct you in the right place, or do an episode around it. Or maybe when my process is ready to come out onto the worldwide web, to share it with everybody, I’ll send you a free copy, free audio.
And it’ll just help. All those things are available to you. Also, remember, there’s all those wonderful free hypnosis tracks I’ve got up there.
It’s at pawcluffonline.com forward slash podcast 66, seven, I don’t know, loads of them. All things you enjoy, so I can direct you there too. So do send me an email.
I like your feedback. I love your feedback. And lastly, I know I’m hamming this up, not hamming it, I’m pushing it really hard.
But just press that follow and subscribe button. So you get every one of these. I don’t want you to miss out on something that might be that little golden nugget that changes your life forever.
Because when it does, you’ll never know how far the ripples of that change will go. But they do. And they allow things to come back.
So have a little thing, put some space to consider what we’ve talked about here. And what you’d like to talk about and discover after that. So until the next time, my friend, enjoy every heartbeat, have more fun than you can stand.
And maybe your unconscious mind will, as I say, I love your unconscious mind to surprise you by feeling happy for no reason. Enjoy. It’s time to fly.
Warning, you are now leaving the unclogged mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly. Be brave, my friend.
Personal development unplugged.
Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited