What Are You Afraid Of Losing?
Here’s a question for you…
What are you afraid of losing?
Not gaining… not achieving…
But losing.
Because here’s the thing…
I’ve been doing a bit of deeper work on myself lately — you know, when life shifts a little and things you’ve always done… just don’t have that same spark anymore.
And in that space… that little void…
I found myself looking for something new.
A new direction… a bit more passion… a bit more something.
But the harder I looked…
The more it seemed to disappear.
Now that’s frustrating, isn’t it?
And it got me thinking…
What if it’s not about what I’m trying to find…
But what I’m afraid of losing?
Because we all do it, don’t we?
We hold on to things — even emotional stuff, even old ways of being —
And we don’t always know why.
And maybe… just maybe…
That’s what’s getting in the way of finding what we really want.
So this is just a seed…
A question to sit with.
What are you afraid of losing?
And how might that be holding you back?
In the longer episode, we’re going to dive deeper into this…
We’ll explore what’s really going on underneath…
And more importantly…
We’ll go through a process together — not just talking about it, but actually finding your answer.
Because that’s where the change happens.
The Next Step
If this got you thinking… stay with me.
Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the next episode —
That’s where we do the real work.
And maybe… just maybe…
You’ll find something you didn’t expect.
Please Share the Seed
If you know someone who’s searching…
Or maybe feeling a bit stuck…
Share this with them. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/479-what-are-you-afraid-of-losing
or the video https://youtu.be/VvW1cD80CSM
Let’s get more people asking better questions.
Shine Brightly 🌟
Paul
Hey there! I’d love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you’ve enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.
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And the transcript WARNING if you’re a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry – you have been warned – is it an ‘ism
And just let that go, just let that go for a moment. You can open your eyes again if you did close your eyes. And maybe we can think of a real life, back in the real world as we are.
And notice, where does this show up for you the most? Where does this holding on, this fear of losing, show up for you? And again, recall where and what have you been trying to move toward? It’s moving towards now, moving towards and that thing is holding you back. And just think, you know, it could be as simple as, you know, you want to move away from the thing that you always feel, staying in that comfort zone as it were, that familiar zone. Maybe it’s this projects that you want to do, but you’re just not getting there.
Or is that career move you want to do? Or that relationship you want to take another step further? Or you just want to, but do you recognise any of those? I think you might just do a little bit. But you’re holding onto those roles that no longer fit, aren’t they? And I’m going to dive into that on a lot longer episode or another longer episode, because there’s so many different things that we can talk about that. But the thing is, I want to give you a little bit of a, little bit of a push, a bit of a challenge.
I want you to consider this. It’s not laziness. It’s not lack of motivation.
That’s just an excuse, by the way. It is that protection thing, isn’t it? Because once we accept that and acknowledge it, and that’s the work we’ve just done, here’s the empowering bit. If it’s all about protection, you can choose what to do with it.
Yeah, you get to choose what you do with that protection, because this is you. This is all about you. You can choose, as we’ve done before, do you want to hold on? Or do you want to loosen the grip? You see, here’s the thing.
You’re not stuck. You’re not stuck one bit. You might feel stuck, but you’re not stuck.
You’re just being careful. And the thing is, when you’re just being careful, you could become curious, because that’s a safe way of being, isn’t it? Being careful and curious to find out new things. And when you do that, curiosity can become courageous.
And when you’re courageous, guess what? You are perfectly safe. And what I want you to think of is, maybe you give permission to that part of you that’s been protecting you for so, so long, holding you back from fear of losing things. Just stand down for a minute.
Give it permission to take a rest. It’ll always be there for you if you need it, but just to take a rest. It’s like a centurion or a sentry guard.
Give it permission to stand at ease, at ease, because this is all about just becoming careful and curious. Nothing to lose. That’s what I did.
And when I did this, I found so many different things that I could look towards. And some of them, yeah, I ignored. But some of them, oh, I ignored.
Oh, this is different. This is gonna make my life richer. And as soon as that part of me, the one that was holding me back, as it were, afraid of losing stuff, suddenly said, oh, this is new stuff, this is good stuff.
I hope it’d be better than the other stuff, but it fits me right now. So have a think. You see, think about rippling, the ripples.
The ripples of change go far and wide. You’ll never know how far they go. But when you let go of what no longer serves you, because it no longer serves you, you don’t just change your life.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And your life will change immeasurably. I said before, you begin to be the example of what can be done.
You become the example to show other people what’s possible. Look at them. They did this, they were so good.
And then they changed and they did this. I see them doing new stuff. And they’re so, well, it just builds.
It’s infectious. And you become that wonderful example of growth. And the thing is, it’s not just the example of growth to others, I can’t say others, but you become the example to yourself.
You suddenly understand what is possible. And then you become confidence because of your competence. Because it’s careful curiosity, that’s competence.
You give yourself permission now to go further and find a richer world. And then it’s a bit like that butterfly I talk about being on the other side of the world where it’s just flapping its wings gently. But now you become the wind of change.
Yeah, because it isn’t just about you. As I said, it isn’t just about you. No, not at all.
So let me just go back over something. Let me go back over it. Think of this.
What are you afraid of losing? Imagine the one that interests you from these questions. What are you afraid of losing? And is that losing real? Or simply imagined? For me, it wasn’t bloody real. In fact, it was holding me back from wonderful things.
What is, and then you’re going back into me again, what is that fear trying to protect you from? Ask the question, what is this fear trying to protect me from? And I say, for me, it was like losing my identity. And then I found that was bullshit. Because I’m me.
And the richer things I find in life to fill that void, man, I build on all my experiences. I don’t let go of the experience that I’ve had to find something new. I build upon them.
What might prove possible when I loosen the grip? And that’s exactly what I did. When I loosened that grip, things just became so much clearer. That candle inside me started to, it wouldn’t roar because it’s a wonderful candle, but it got brighter.
And the brighter it got, the better I felt, the more curious I felt, and the richer my life became. And here’s, as we talk about identity, who, who would you become if you allowed the change? Or say it this way, who would I become if I allowed change? Write that one down. Sit down quietly with your G and T, your cup of water, your whatever.
Sit down quietly for five minutes and just go and repeat it. Who would I become if I allowed change? That’s it. And I think, well, especially when you say, I give permission to that part of me to be at ease, to protect me when I need protecting, but just notice that’s a role that I don’t need quite so much anymore.
Not in that way. Yeah. Hopefully, hopefully that has sparked something.
It’s resonated with you. That’s my covert, because I’ve told you about it, that’s how it’s, not covert anymore. But that’s my, that’s the message I wanted to bring.
Give you all these different ways of, of understanding that we think we’re losing stuff and we’re not. So I hope that sparked something in you. And I’d love to hear about it.
You know how to do that? It’s the email feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I’d love to hear everything that is sparked about you. Let me know. Please share this with as many as you can, certainly interested people, because you might be able to give them a nudge to be free, to find freedom, free to be curious, courageous, creative, and just create a rich life for themselves.
Never have it, but please press that imaginary button, or in my head, but it’s on your player of choice to subscribe to this. That’s the only two things, pay it forward. And if this means something to you, oh dear, I can’t breathe.
Please press subscribe. That’s all I ask. And what I wanted to, to say was, from the metaphor of who’s driving your bus, because maybe you weren’t quite driving it fully.
Now you drive the bus. You drive the bus of your life. And I’m just here to maybe help you steer a little bit smoother.
And if we get a puncture, I can come with a repair kit. There’s metaphors coming out all over the place, isn’t there? And just remember, if it’s okay just to remember, to be reminded and re-reminded, you don’t have to let go of everything, because you’re going to build up on everything. And sometimes, just to reinforce it again, it’s just about losing your grip, loosening your grip.
And you see, you don’t have to spit your dummy, throw everything out the window, just a little bit, a little bit. Because when you start doing that, well then we’ll start throwing loads of stuff you don’t need out and finding new stuff. Have more fun than you can stand, because my friend, from Paul, Personal Development Unplugged, the podcast, anxiety to confidence and all that stuff.
Hopefully, just lighten that candle a little brighter, because it’s time to fly. Enjoy. Warning.
You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It’s time to fly now. Be brave, my friend.
Personal Development Unplugged.
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